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Think my 'lucks' run out

Hi gang, as the title says,i think my lucks run out.i have had ms 24 years now, and i have always been lucky enough to remain upright,i have had some really bad episodes over the years, some have left me bed bound for many months,but i have always felt unwell from the word go.even after some serious relapses i have managed to get to the stage where i can be up and get round the house and garden,and for this i have always been thankful.i have had to rest in bed a lot more this last few years though.my last ‘biggie’ was 2012 it went on for months

This quinsy (tonsil abcess)i had at xmas has knocked me for six, i started again last night with a sore throat and high temperature,and i was in a relapse, a few weeks before this,now i can barely stand,but it comes and goes over the day, i think what i am trying to say is i am so scared i wont be able to stand at all very soon.I feel so depressed at the moment i really do, i am already on antidepressants and i try to stay positive,but just now i feel is this it, and if it is i dont know if i can cope, i really dont, i havent felt as bad as this for a long time,its like i have no fight in me at all,and thats not like me,i think thats what scares me.my ms is affecting my mind a lot more too,lately.

Thanks for listening gang.

J x

Aw J, I feel for you. I feel like my walking days are running out and it makes me so angry but likewise I don’t have a lot of fight right now. I feel like there’s always something that messes up even the best laid plans. I’m gonna shut up there, as I could easily rant but I will say please keep your chin up honey. It’s the best we can do a lot of the time but don’t give in hugs

Sonia x

Oh Mrs J, I wish I had a magic wand to wave over you, but am sending ((((hugs)))) to let you know we are wishing you well.

I really am not surprised you feel so down at the moment, you have been put through the wringer with one thing and another, and having a Quincy was the last thing you needed. I wonder if you need stronger anti biotic to fight this nasty infection, have a word with GP?

Don’t forget having an infection plays havoc with MS symptoms, and once this Quincy has gone, it will give you time to build back up again, so please try to keep your chin up and stay strong.

Hoping better times are in sight for you, thinking of you, take care.

Pam x

Hi Mrs Pam is right infections can play havoc and until your Quincy has gone you won’t know anything so stop take a deep breath and get on with getting better. And if you can’t walk its fine I am wheelchair based bbased now a beautiful electric blue wwhizzy quick thing that I can donut round and round very fast. Yep it hurts when I fall out but I used to fall when on sticks and on crutches and with my zimmer. Gravity is a bar steward. Basically what I am saying is don’t worry, get your self back to some sort of normality and then plan how to cope with how you are then. Anything else will just feed the beast.

XXX Don

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Hello Mrs J, We all feel for you on here,its not just what happens to us physically its that wretched " Black dog " depression that finishes us off. its funny iv’e had a few weepy hopeless moments and i don’t know why…iv’e got my gorgeous twin granddaughters and lots of things to feel blessed by but i feel that recently iv’e lost the plot my head doesn’t feel right sometimes i’m scared that i’m getting dementia and i feel useless but still trying to juggle all the balls as in being there for my family, but feeling really wobbly mentally and physically, i must admit the one thing in my favour is the " yellow dog " Frazer he’s trying his hardest to chase the " Black dog " away I really hope that you feel better soon, Everyone on here gives such good advice…I love Dons message about his " electric blue whizzy quick thing " You are so funny Don, it must be the child in you! Thats what we need Mrs J , both me and you and probably loads of others on here…next time i go out in my battered blue whizzy thing i’m going to do " donuts " really fast.

Michelle and Frazer xx

As well as the donuts Don, we could do wheelies…and really confuse the public lol

Sounds like a plan to me…can you imagine loads of us in the centre of the town all doing it?

Pam xx

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Michelle thats just how i feel my heads not right at all,ive had this before, i even forgot once how to brush my bloody teeth,it scared me to death,it feels like my brains fast forwarding a lot,and its awful,i dont know where to put myself when i feel like this,i just wish it would go off and stay off,its like a panicky feeling that totally overwhelms me,i think its a lesion thats causing it,it makes me feel like i want to get away from myself,so weird, i could cope more with loosing my mobility than my mind, i say its like dementia too,and i find it frustrating that no one knows what i am describing,it wears you down too.

hope you are enjoying you lovely grandaughters.

J x

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Thanks Sonia i am trying to keep my chin up.

J x

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Hi pam, thanks for your kind words,means a lot.hope you are ok,

J x

Hi Mrs J,

I’m so sorry to hear your having such a rotten time. I’ve had cognitive problems for years so I understand totally what you mean about forgetting how to brush your teeth.

I also thought I was getting early onset dementia when it started. My neuro explained that although it can be similar there are much worse things about dementia…for instance with MS cognative problems we won’t suddenly stop recognising our families.

I was sent to a neuro pshycholagist who did tests to establish the severity of the problem, I was then prescribed a tablet called Donepezil, it is actually a tablet for altzhiemers and at that time my neurolagist had great difficulty getting permission for me to take it. After I’d been taking it for three years the powers that be decided I could no longer have it…my neuro tried really hard to sort it for me but was unable too. It was very expensive at the time so rather than buy it I stopped…what a shock I turned into a total Zombie so my neuro helped me to buy it from Canada where it was much cheaper and in fact now its available here again on the NHS.

The point I’m trying to make ( sorry I’ve waffled a tad)is that it’s a brilliant medication and as it is now available again on the NHS I think it’s well worth you talking to your GP or Neuro about it.

Hope that is of some help, take care and rest as much as you can and hopefully you’ll soon be back on track.

Nina x

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Thanks Nina, you have given me hope,i will certainly mention it to my dr,and if no joy there i will ask my neuro .

Thanks again

J x

Mrs J I wish I could say it will all go back to normal, partly to reassure you, but to help me too. I’m in hospital with a nasty infection, on IV antibiotics and my entire body and brain are playing silly beggars so let’s hope together that returning to health restores previous function, however that may leave us. Cath x

oh no Cath i am so sorry you are in hospital,i hope you recover very soon,you sound very much like me.i am sue we will soon be on here saying how much better we feel.sending you lots of love and ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

J xx

Now then mrs J, I hear what your saying and I’m so sorry you feel like this is where your luck has run it’s course, and I know you’ve got this, that and the other to deal with BUT don’t forget you’ve just moved house, and lived without teapot etc and so on, the point is I’m sure there’s all sorts of medical goings on but this has been a very stressful period which will not be helping. Try and see out the foreseeable future being kind to yourself and don’t get too depressed with this grey dark winter and hopefully the birds will be singing again soon.

hope mr j is ok too and you find some nice stuff to focus on. Keep breathing xxx

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hi Slug, think you have the wrong person lol. i havent moved house in 20 years,i have a lot of stressful stuff in my life at the moment though,but moving house is not one of them.

J x

Aw! Mrs J, I think you are being very hard on yourself, I know it’s hard but you have to give yourself time to get over this horrible thing. I don’t really know what quinsy is but it sounds horrendous and along with ms it’s going to take a while to get over this. Please don’t think your lucks run out. Just take it day by day and I’m sure you are going to feel a bit better soon.

Cath I’m so sorry you are in hospital, hope it’s not long before you are home and on the road to recovery.

Sending you both ((((Hugs)))))

Mags xx

Thanks Mags, you are right, i need to give myself more time ,i have always been impatient where illness is concerned,i keep telling myself to have a bit more patience.This quinsy is an abcess on your tonsils and its brutal, i had it twenty years ago, but i was obviously 20 yrs younger and not as bad with the MS back then, but i was still on hospital on a drip for 4 days.i felt like i was dying over xmas and wasnt botherd if i did i was that ill.

Hope you are ok, theres a few of us on here going thru it just now.

J x

Oh Cath, I am so sorry to hear your news, sending you good vibes to hopefully get you back to ‘normal’ quickly.

(((Hugs))) thinking of you.

Pam x

Hi Jackie, I totally understand were you are coming from in a bad place myself at the moment. Maybe it’s just exhaustion, you have had a very tough year and you are probably running on empty, and that always everything much harder. I hope you turn a corner soon.

cath so sorry to hear your ill, hope those antibiotics work quickly.

ann xx

Hugs for Cath (((((this is you being hugged))))) hope your soon better

XXX

Don

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