This is my very first time here so please bear with me if what i say seems a bit jumbled up.
I have had MS since i was 19 (i am now 43). I always say that i have done more with my life because i have MS than i would have done without it. I think it makes you appreciate thing more. Unfortunately though my positivity seems to have abandoned me just lately and i’m concerned i’m sinking into a pity of self pity.
In November i had a nasty relapse and whilst i was having steroid treatment my husband of 21 years left me and our 17 year old daughter. The effect on us both has been devastating, particularly for my daughter. Leaving when he did meant that she became my sole carer with no help at all and in her final A level year. To make matters worse 6 weeks later a huge relaspe struck, hospitalising me for 4 weeks and leaving me with severe problems.
Obviously my main concern has been for my daughter and as awful and selfish as this may sound, i now feel i am struggling to cope with her fears, anger and reluctance to help and it is really getting me down. I have physically improved slowly but have slipped back in recent weeks. My relapses are out of control and i’ve tried almost everything medication wise. I have a carer in the morning and have had to hire a cleaner and gardener. Social Services are assessing me for direct payments but as i’m going through a divorce my financial position is precarious as all the joint savings were in my name. I have no idea how long my savings will last and i’m fearful at having to pay out so much money just to survive.
I just want the world to stop so i can get off for a bit as for the first time in my life i feel totally at a loss as to how move forward. I just feel so terribly alone.