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fed uppp of this ms

hi, im really really fed uppppp today, the thought of i wish i was dead came to my mind today, even thou im a strong person, considering been thru the last 2yrs of hell with this latest relapse.

tried to take a short walk today,as was having breathing probs, so thought maybe low on oxygen, put my coat on and boots and started off okay, walked only a bit, then wish i never went out. couldnt feel one of my legs at all, feet went numb, breathless, could not even focus on where i was going. god knows how i got back home, wasnt even far.

i dont understand, y is it harder to walk outside than inside the house?

on top of it all, had diarrhea, made me weaker, always having probs with my stomach, and digesting food, but docs always put it down to ms.

Hi, I’m really sorry you’re having a bad time of it, but please don’t think about being dead, yes things are bad at the moment, but have you got an MS nurse you can go to, do you need steriods to get over all this, life is worth living, you’ve just got to get yourself sorted out that’s all, we all hit rock bottom at times, we think we wont be able to carry on, but people on here are really strong, and carry on you will, get in touch with you’re GP/MS nurse, I really hope things improve, you know what they say, the only way is up, good luck,and here’s some ((((((HUGS)))))), Jean x

Hello Golden,

Try not to get too dispondent or disheartened. When i had my first major relapse I honestly thought I would never get through it, like you had problems visiting the loo every five minutes, didnt have the strength, so son would help me. Was blind in one eye but my brain hadnt adjusted so felt totally blind, my hands and feet were both numb and I had ms hug and no energy. Alas mine did eventually lightened, but not without help and support from my friends and son. One took me for help with the eyes and another used to shop for me and help me around the house. Over time I learnt to adjust but like you felt useless, like it would never ever leave me and thought I was on my way out.

I can assure you with support, be it on here or friends/family you can and will improve. Mobility requires a lot of strength and you will feel much safer in the home than out. Small steps as they say, perhaps just a few each day to start with. our brains can compensate for numbness its a case of watching where your going and how your body parts fit into the equation. Please challenge yourself but only when you feel your strength is returning a little. Pacing is what is required, we cannot be expected to get up and move fast anywhere, take your time. Try challenging yourself daily, be it a small task and in time you will realise others have got there, so you will and before you know it, youll be thinking wow, I got through all that and came out the other end.

you know we msers gain great strength from each other. We are here anytime you feel like you do to give you hope, support, care and courage. We hold your hand and help you get through what is a rough patch. You WILL come out the other end much stronger, honestly.

best wishes

bren

x

thanku for ur reply greenhouse. yes bit low at moment, coz when i get to th stage where i feel im progressing a bit, get an infection or this that and the other, then go downhill. yes have a nurse, but just goin thru bad phase, sorry had to let it out.

Think maybe also down to menstrual cycle too, hate being a lady, go so weak when that time arrives.

aww thanku for the hugs, needed them thankuuuuuuu…

Thanku yawn for ur reply, yes i know wat u went thru, when tryin to be independent its harder nowadays. i also feel somtimes im on my way out, but then think so wat, wat is to happen will happen.

got emotional today as tried to go out by myself today, which havent in 2yrs, without going with somebody. Walking is the hardest nowadays, and the body just stops when it wants to by itself.

Fast is a word that doesnt exist nomore in my life lolz. honestly i find th whole world too fast, even when they talk, althou my husband says i talk fast myself.

Thanku soooooo much for ur motivation, im very touched honestly, but trying not to cry, as crying makes me weaker, just happy that others been thru same. i forget that ive been immobile for so long, that now when im tryin to be independent, its a shock to the brain.

thankuuuuu

Thanku yawn for ur reply, yes i know wat u went thru, when tryin to be independent its harder nowadays. i also feel somtimes im on my way out, but then think so wat, wat is to happen will happen.

got emotional today as tried to go out by myself today, which havent in 2yrs, without going with somebody. Walking is the hardest nowadays, and the body just stops when it wants to by itself.

Fast is a word that doesnt exist nomore in my life lolz. honestly i find th whole world too fast, even when they talk, althou my husband says i talk fast myself.

Thanku soooooo much for ur motivation, im very touched honestly, but trying not to cry, as crying makes me weaker, just happy that others been thru same. i forget that ive been immobile for so long, that now when im tryin to be independent, its a shock to the brain.

thankuuuuu