Had a relapse april,followed by 3 more,just started to feel a little stronger,when wham,yet another, came,so have had to be in bed all this time, just managing to get up to go to bathroom and back,i have tried getting up for my meals, but even thats been too much for me,i struggle to get in the shower,but make myself,even though it takes it out of me,
today my partner suggested we go out for a ride in the car,i knew i wasnt up to it, but forced myself,anyway, i couldnt cope with it at all, i cant make sense of anything going off around me,its like my brains not processing any info at all,we had only been out for 10 minutes,i felt like i was falling to one side,and felt so bad,the motion in the car was exaggerated so much, it felt like he was driving really fast and braking really hard,when in fact he wasnt,i felt so dizzy going round roundabouts,
when we got back,i just went straight back to bed, i was so upset,and its made me realise that i wont be able to cope with anything at all,outside these 4 walls,its really upset me,i feel so hopeless,is this what its going to be like now?i know its taken me longer to get back on track, each time i have been ill,but this time i really feel as though i am not going to pick up at all, should i just accept it now,its just sort of confirmed,what i have been thinking for months,and i am scared to death.if this is the way its going to be now, i would rather go to bed and not wake up. i have fought this over the years and have times where i thought i was never going to pick up,but this time,i feel like, it really is it.has anyone else felt like this? have you picked up .after feeling you were never going to,i just cant do this anymore,its too hard.