I’m back from the neurologist - feel like I’ve been on a rollercoaster.
Well I got called in and was horrified when he opened my notes to see the letters from my last neurologist which I’d specifically told my GP not to send as I wanted a completely new opinion.
He said - ‘oh you’ve seen so and so, he’s great!’ I almost felt like crying on the spot.
He then preceeded to read the 3 letters interspersed by asking me questions about bits and when I told him about the bowel he murmured could be anxiety. I thought this is really not going well. I then told him about the latest new episodes I’ve had and he said ‘so your MRI’s essentially normal and your still getting symptoms?’ He then said - ‘let me do some tests but I’m not expecting to find anything’ - I felt my stomach clench. I almost felt like saying - whats the point if you’ve already made your mind up. He spent the next 5 minutes doing some shoddy neuro tests (even the first registrar I saw did a better job) and then told me to take a seat.
He then said yes all normal apart from slightly reduced light touch sense - blah blah blah. So do you want to continue being seen here or at the national hospital? I braced myself and asked so I’m still getting symptoms but you can’t find anything what is this? I was prepared for him to say it’s all in your head… but he turned round and said ’ you seem like a logical happy person so I don’t think it’s anxiety or depression. The symptoms and pattern you’re describing are suggestive of MS but I can’t just diagnose you. The evidence needs to be there on the scans or LP.’
I swear my tongue almost fell out my mouth.
He then talked a little bit about how MS diagnosis is not all doom and gloom etc and then said I could refer you to an MS specialist here and see you myslef in 3 months in the interim to keep a close watch if you like. So what started terribley actually turned out to be an okay situation. I’m so glad he didn’t tell me I’m a hypochondriac - I think I would have cried there and then. I’m pleased that I’m seeing an MS specialist and though I know its not a firm diagnosis I feel relieved in a sense that maybe I wasn’t barking up the wrong path thinking this might be MS.
I just hope the MS specialist I’m referred to is good and can tell me whether it might be MS or not.