I’d like to start a thread, ‘ditties for the day’
i mean no harm to those out there, poets through and through
But silly words are all I have and hope that one or two
can join me in my silliness or poetry if that’s you
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Not really a ditty but my two favourite words to live life by are:
When in doubt, get Limp Bizkit out
It’s not where you are, it’s where you’re at (Ian Brown)
‘The boy stood on the burning deck’ - is that a diitty?
It was on the bridge at midnight
She stood there all a quiver
She gave a cough
Her leg fell off
And floated down the river! 
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My dear Flo,
I love you so,
Especially in your nighty.
When the moonlight flits,
Across your bits;
I need to hold on tightly.
A.D.
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I love to contemplate my life Whilst sitting beneath a tree If the ground appears wet It cos I’ve had a week
A wee!!!
The smile of the walrus is wild and distraught
And tinged with pale purples and greens
Like the smile of a thinker who thinks a great thought
But isn’t quite sure what it means.
That was written by an American poet called Oliver Herford. I think of it whenever I see Dick Strawbridge on television.
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There was a young lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
Now a week later, her t*ts are in flower
And her bum is all covered in weeds!
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think i know her
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Or a week bladder?
She’s called Poppy for a good reason.
The elephant is a bonny bird
It flits from bough to bough
It makes it’s nest in a rhubarb tree
And whistles like a cow
I thank you!
Pollsx
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More! More!
The boy stood on the burning deck
Picking his nose like mad
Rolling it into little balls
And flicking them at his dad
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One fine day
In the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back
They faced each other
Drew their guns
And stabbed each other!
Ugh!
Pollsx
My O’level in English Literature was ungraded…
I prefer the work of Wendy Cope (rather than DJ bloomin Enright
Her insight into language tickles what passes for my brain, I saw this on the underground and was hooked immediately.
THE UNCERTAINTY OF A POET
I am a poet.
I am very fond of bananas.
I am bananas.
I am very fond of a poet.
I am a poet of bananas.
I am very fond.
A fond poet of ‘I am, I am’-
Very bananas.
Fond of ‘Am I bananas?
Am I?’-a very poet.
Bananas of a poet!
Am I fond? Am I very?
Poet bananas! I am.
I am fond of a ‘very.’
I am of very fond bananas.
Am I a poet?
Webdy Cope
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Mary had a little watch
She swallowed it one day
And now she’s taking laxatives
To pass the time away.
But as the days turned into weeks
The watch refused to pass
So if you need to know the time
You’ll have to look up Mary’s a**
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The boy stood on the burning deck.
And thought it all a bit funny
The flame crept up his trousers
And set fire to his money
‘Oh blast’, he yelled, 'Oh dear what now
I have to pay a debt
But the fire has taken all my dosh’
So he tried not to fret
He jumped into the cool, dark sea
And put the firey pants out
What a day for a swim, he thought
With a shall of small sea trout
He looked around to hear a shout
‘Help me’ cried the bookie
Who was too, knee deep in flames
‘I’m feeling a bit crooky’
The boy launched out of the cool, blue sea
And shook to put out the fire
‘Thank you’, said the bookie, 'I am grateful,
If it’s a job you want, you’re hired’
So no more debt and a fresh new job
Bought him a brand new boat
He set off to sea, facing the wind
With a nice fire-retardant coat
on the ning nong nang
where the mice go clang
and the monkeys all go boo!
there’s a nong nang ning
where the trees go ping
and the teapots jibber jabber joo.
on the nang ning nong
the cows go bong
and you can’t catch them when they do.
so its ning nang nong cows go bong
nong nang ning trees go ping
ning nong nang mice go clang
what a noisy place to belong is the ning nang ning nang nong.
spike milligan
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