A ditty a day

I sit around all day long, my bottom getting wider

if only I could move these legs, I wish I was a spider


Mary had a little lamb,

The maternity unit were very surprised.


If things don’t change, they will stay as they are.

It will either rain or get dark by morning.

Grandad Charlie x

[quote=“albrecht durer”]

Mary had a little lamb,

The maternity unit were very surprised.

[/quote] Ewe!

Bessie Blue the Collie

Old John he had a collie

Her name was Bessie Blue

At night before they went to sleep

She would do something in his shoe

She had a dodgy leg

So he took her to the vet

Who gave him lots of medicine

To give to his poor pet

But homeward bound, That naughty John

Did sell the meds for scag

Off his head he truly went

And snuffed a great big bag

With poor old Bessie, at his heel

Tom bounced around like rubber

With eyes all sad and weary

She watched him the poor old bugger

He drove his quad into the pond

Got covered in moss all soggy

The pond brought down his mood a bit

Out he got, all boggy

Little Bessie Blue, by his side

Did limp all down the bank

They got home and he called his mate

The hoofer, horsey Frank

‘What should I do?’ Old Tom did yelp

She limps on a poorly foot

'That’s easy, old remedy first

Mix these, on her leg put!’

So as advised, old Tom did mix

Two Anadin and some ale

The old recipe, spread on her leg

Old Bessie looked pale

Before the day was truly out

She was feeling bold

Even after the day she had

She wasn’t feeling old

Skipping by her master’s side

Then off out to the loo

But Bess preferred to trot right in

And did one in his shoe

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I wish to thank Slug, what a great idea

So thinking caps on, and put brains in gear

Spend some of your time ,

Find that little rhyme,

A ditty a day, just to spread some cheer.


my creative juices have dried up.

could anyone lend me a cupfull?

C x

There was a young man from Bosham

Who got out his bo****ks to wash 'em

His mum said "oh Jack, if you don’t put them back

I’ll get out the mangle and squash 'em!"


Poppy, you are far too good at this. Please don’t stop, it’s brilliant.


Hehe Sue, I can’t claim any glory for that last one. That was hubbys. We were screaming with laughter as he was saying it!


There was once a young cannibal called Ned,

Who secretly ate sweets when in bed,

His mother said son,

Oh what have you done,

Please try eating some people instead.


Mary had a little lamb

It ran into a pylon

10,000 volts went up its a***

And turned its wool to nylon.

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Oh no!!!

Mary had a little lamb,

It’s feet were black as soot

And everywhere that Mary went

His sooty foot he put.

Mary had a little lamb.

His feet were made of lard

And every single step he took

He slid back half a yard.

[Edited by Moderator…too close to breaking the T&Cs. The cleaner ones are funnier!]

Yesterday I felt OK, today I’m not so glum

the world around is bright and blue

im still sitting on my bum

your posts are cheery, I give you credit

even those that need an edit

a smile, a laugh you’ve brought to me

so I thank you each for taking time

to think of words and form a rhyme


I wish I was a little grub

With hairs upon my tummy

I’d crawl into a honey pot

And make my tummy gummy.

I wish I was a Glow Worm

A Glow Worm’s never glum

'Cos how can you be grumpy, when the sun shines out your bum?!

(From my childrens schooldays.)

This is from a radio programme last night.

The one I love is tall and long

She wears a gown of green

He voice is beauteous raised in song

Her age is just eighteen.

I love to watch her run along

And belch forth clouds of steam

“For shame, a married man” you cry

Thy’ll cause your wife much pain.

“Not so,” say I with twinkling eye

“I beg you think again.”

“For though you thought she was a girl”

“She’s actually a train.”

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a bear

I’ve often seen her little lamb

But I’ve never seen her bare!

(courtesy of my husband)

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