I sit around all day long, my bottom getting wider
if only I could move these legs, I wish I was a spider
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Mary had a little lamb,
The maternity unit were very surprised.
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If things don’t change, they will stay as they are.
It will either rain or get dark by morning.
Grandad Charlie x
[quote=“albrecht durer”]
Mary had a little lamb,
The maternity unit were very surprised.
[/quote] Ewe!
Bessie Blue the Collie
Old John he had a collie
Her name was Bessie Blue
At night before they went to sleep
She would do something in his shoe
She had a dodgy leg
So he took her to the vet
Who gave him lots of medicine
To give to his poor pet
But homeward bound, That naughty John
Did sell the meds for scag
Off his head he truly went
And snuffed a great big bag
With poor old Bessie, at his heel
Tom bounced around like rubber
With eyes all sad and weary
She watched him the poor old bugger
He drove his quad into the pond
Got covered in moss all soggy
The pond brought down his mood a bit
Out he got, all boggy
Little Bessie Blue, by his side
Did limp all down the bank
They got home and he called his mate
The hoofer, horsey Frank
‘What should I do?’ Old Tom did yelp
She limps on a poorly foot
'That’s easy, old remedy first
Mix these, on her leg put!’
So as advised, old Tom did mix
Two Anadin and some ale
The old recipe, spread on her leg
Old Bessie looked pale
Before the day was truly out
She was feeling bold
Even after the day she had
She wasn’t feeling old
Skipping by her master’s side
Then off out to the loo
But Bess preferred to trot right in
And did one in his shoe
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I wish to thank Slug, what a great idea
So thinking caps on, and put brains in gear
Spend some of your time ,
Find that little rhyme,
A ditty a day, just to spread some cheer.
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my creative juices have dried up.
could anyone lend me a cupfull?
C x
There was a young man from Bosham
Who got out his bo****ks to wash 'em
His mum said "oh Jack, if you don’t put them back
I’ll get out the mangle and squash 'em!"
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Poppy, you are far too good at this. Please don’t stop, it’s brilliant.
Sue
Hehe Sue, I can’t claim any glory for that last one. That was hubbys. We were screaming with laughter as he was saying it!
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There was once a young cannibal called Ned,
Who secretly ate sweets when in bed,
His mother said son,
Oh what have you done,
Please try eating some people instead.
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Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up its a***
And turned its wool to nylon.
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Oh no!!!
Mary had a little lamb,
It’s feet were black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
His sooty foot he put.
Mary had a little lamb.
His feet were made of lard
And every single step he took
He slid back half a yard.
[Edited by Moderator…too close to breaking the T&Cs. The cleaner ones are funnier!]
Yesterday I felt OK, today I’m not so glum
the world around is bright and blue
im still sitting on my bum
your posts are cheery, I give you credit
even those that need an edit
a smile, a laugh you’ve brought to me
so I thank you each for taking time
to think of words and form a rhyme
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I wish I was a little grub
With hairs upon my tummy
I’d crawl into a honey pot
And make my tummy gummy.
I wish I was a Glow Worm
A Glow Worm’s never glum
'Cos how can you be grumpy, when the sun shines out your bum?!
(From my childrens schooldays.)
This is from a radio programme last night.
The one I love is tall and long
She wears a gown of green
He voice is beauteous raised in song
Her age is just eighteen.
I love to watch her run along
And belch forth clouds of steam
“For shame, a married man” you cry
Thy’ll cause your wife much pain.
“Not so,” say I with twinkling eye
“I beg you think again.”
“For though you thought she was a girl”
“She’s actually a train.”
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I’ve often seen her little lamb
But I’ve never seen her bare!
(courtesy of my husband)
1 Like