Work Advice

Hi everyone, looking for some advice for my partner.

So, due to numerous episodes he left his previous job and has been out of work for around 18 months to try and get a little better. In that time he has done 1 shift in a restaurant kitchen as a kitchen porter. By the end of the 6 hour shift he was exhausted and it took him several days to recover.

I don’t particularly want him going back to work, I’m not sure if he feels ready either, but he’s getting more and more frustrated. Unfortunately, even with a second job I am struggling to pay the bills, let alone provide a reasonable quality of life for us. We receive some help from the council (a small housing benefit & some council tax deduction) aswell as the lower rate daily living element of PIP, he needs the mobility element but we all know the struggle when it comes to PIP.

He used to be a chef but definitely can’t do that anymore, so we’re finding it very difficult to think of any job he could do that wouldn’t be too difficult for him. At the moment, on a good day, he struggles to stand for more than 10 minutes, is very unbalanced walking, has lost most feeling in his fingers, has reduced use of his hands & has limited vision.

If anyone can think of anything that would suit, it would be a great help as we’re out of ideas!

Thanks in advance :slight_smile:

P.S. we live in quite a small town which also limits options

I’m sorry I can’t offer any constructive advice, I just wanted to offer you my sympathy for the situation you are both in and to wish you both well. Hopefully someone with positive help will respond soon.

Best wishes

Jan x

Hello Anon, it sounds like a difficult situation for everyone, with a big change happening in your lives.

Hopefully, these links may prove useful:

Good luck and take care (both of you)

My advice to you is forget about working and put your effort into what you are entitled to. It`s a long frustrating process (as nobody will tell you anything unless you ask) but it will be more beneficial financially as long as you have supporting official evidence of your diagnosis. Yes it is a struggle but trying to work is a bigger struggle with what goes with it. CAB were the most helpful for me but it all takes too long.

Good Luck.

Thank you all so much, and Jan for your kind words. I think we will take another look at entitlements, I think you’re right, work may do further damage & his health is the most important thing.

Thank you all for your help & opinions, I’m very grateful



Definitely look into your entitlements and disability rights - your partner deserves all the support in the world

I am sorry to hear about your family circumstances, the systems and “social safety nets” seem so inadequate. If possible your partner needs to develop a new mind set. I don’t want to sound daft but a lot of us tend to feel like we are failing to provide when our bodies no longer work like they did, this can set up frustrations which really do not help. His condition is the new “normal” and you both need to adapt. Trying to cope with significantly less money is also on hell of a big change. As a bloke I can not cope with loads of big stuff or changes, so I now try to break things up into smaller items which I might be able to make progress with or even have a small victory.

When I had to give up work, my new role was to keep my amazing wife fed and watered so that she is happy and healthy enough to look after me! It might take me all day to prepare what used to be a 30 minute meal, but I can do it in stages and stop each time I get tired.

With regard to possible work, you say he was a chef, is there any way he can pass on his skills and experience? Maybe he could design meals or menus which might be shared either in voluntary environment or via the internet. Clearly I know nothing of you or your circumstances so I apologise if I am talking rubbish.

All the best to you both