How did things go for you ?
Hi Andre,
had to meet MP in London so I had no opportunity to pick his brains! Mediation was delayed - yet again! - it is now due to be on February 6th. I wonāt hold my breath!
On a positive I had an amazing night in Downing Street met the Prime Minister who was very charismatic, and seemed genuinely impressed with my achievement in the local community.
So on the whole felt that even me with my physical problems (and mental ones if my Achilles heel is to be believed - she tells all Iām making the whole harassment allegations up!) could achieve amazing things! I do believe I was ten foot tall leaving No 10!
Freckles
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Freckles,
WOW! - You now have celebrity status - change your facebook page. l feel that after this you are now more than capable to tackle your āadversitiesā. l wish we could all be there at your mediation session. Hope you have lots of photos to show all your work colleagues.
Feb 6th. thats next friday. Lets hope your āachilles heelā will admit she is wrong and apologise before than. But she must be named and shamed otherwise she will do the same to someone else -
Well done you.
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Hi lovely people
I thought I would update you on the mediation that took pace yesterday. It failed miserably as I knew it would. I gave my version (the truth!) as to what is happening on a daily basis where I work. The mediator then spoke to my nemesis who totally denied everything as I knew she would.
We went round in circles for three hours until the mediator finally agreed that we were at an impasse, and there was no way forward from the situation. Iām basically left with the feeling that I will either have to learn to live with the abuse, or let the police take over.
The latter option scares the hell out of me because if I donāt have enough evidence then I may be in trouble for wasting their time! The first option also scares the hell out of me because Iām so tired of the whole situation which has been going on for nearly three years I donāt think I can cope with it much longer. (I know that sounds really pathetic and I dislike myself for being so weak).
I went into work yesterday afternoon totally exhausted and she didnāt even bother going in Iām starting to think Iām the bigger fool!
Freckles
Hi Freckles
You are not a fool and donāt ever say that about yourselfā¦you are a lovely, brave, intelligent woman
Please go to the police. They will not charge you with wasting police time.
Have you consulted a solicitor. I am sure you can book free 30 minute consultations.
Good luck
ā
X
What stops you from getting a solicitors letter sent to your employer outlining your grievances and your rights as someone with a disability and possibly making reference to constructive dismissal?
GO TO THE COPS!
not sorry for yelling but you are being discriminated against due to your disability and they will take your complaint seriously. The school has done nothing and this women is a bully that has never grown up and will not stop until you are gone. I have dealt with so many people like her my whole life and nothing shy of possible prosecution/fine/jail time/criminal record will get them to stop and sadly then, even that is sometimes not enough. I donāt want to push a person into doing something they are not comfortable with but this women will continue to make your life a living hell until the higher authorities get involved. it is up to the cops to decide if there is enough evidence and even if they find that, you will not get into trouble. but be very very upfront with them with what is going on and stress how it is effecting you and your family.
no one has told her no or that she is in the wrong growing up, gotten everything she wanted, picked on people as a kid and probably your basic high school bully/snob that hasnāt entered the real world. SHE is in the wrong, not you at all! so please get in touch with the cops, you donāt deserve to deal with her
Iāve quit two jobs in the past, before i had ms, just because working there was unbearable.
The second one was just before the ms started, we had a new deputy manager who was a bully that played weird mind games with us. The three senior scientists, which included me, left one after the other. We had no evidence, the manager didnāt believe us. Others had had tribunals about another manager and had got nowhere - even though the manager was found guilty, they kept their job. I felt I had no choice but to leave, for my health more than anything. I felt so guilty for chucking away my career, leaving the others there, but it was definitely the right thing to do for me.
I think Iām just frightened about not being believed, and being the thought of as the one who is making all the trouble and then I will end up being the one disciplined.Throughout all this I feel that I have had to prove my allegations and that she has just coasted through relatively unscathed.
When I spoke to the police last year they felt that they had enough to arrest her, but for me to go through mediation first to basically tick all boxes before they got involved. Well Iāve done that but this woman seems to be totally convincing to everyone she meets because even with the mediator yesterday I felt like I was defending myself.
Iāve got witnesses to her behaviour, but they didnāt have the balls to speak up and Iām afraid that if i go back to the police and the witnesses are spoken to they will just say they donāt remember!
A fed up
Freckles xxx
the police have already said they feel like they have enough evidence so go back to them now that you have done mediation, they deal with people like her all the time so generally know they lie. Donāt focus on the big what ifs here, and why would you get disciplined?? For reporting a crime?
you really have only few options left 
1.go to the cops about it
-
go back to work and deal with being hassled
-
quit
And IMO quitting makes her the winner here, but might be better for your piece of mind. This will not stop until she has gotten her way sadly 
nothing might come from going back to the cops, but at least then you have done everything that YOU can do to try to get her to stop. and please donāt feel like you are wasting their time or that you will get in trouble if they end up not being able to do anything. investigating things like this is part of their job
I know itās hard to walk away because it basically means this woman has won, but no job is worth this amount of grief.
Can you ask the witnesses if they will support you if you go to the police? If they wonāt, check if you still have a winnable case with the police and if not, I would leave. You and everyone that matters will know why and that she is a despicable person.
if you have a leaving interview, tell them you have been bullied and harassed, name and shame. They still may not care but at least youāve got it on record.
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How are things now darlinā?
I do hope you sort it without too much stress for yourself.
People can be just sooooo nasty. I firmly believe that those folk will get their just desserts.
Luv pollx
can you answer the question -
why do you not go to an employment solicitor for advice -
there are laws which protect employees with a disability and employers are āfrightenedā of being faced with a claim for constructive dismissal.
The people who have witnessed the abuse - surely would be in contempt of the law if they āliedā to the police- if you went for harrassment.
See an employment solicitor as suggested above - and then speak again to the police.
Hi All
I spoke to an employment solicitor and basically was told that there is a three month deadline for pursuing complaints. The evidence I have of witnesses was well over a year ago so canāt go anywhere legally with this.
I donāt know where I would stand with the police as I understand it they go back to historical events so it should be ok. I think Iām just so frightened and intimidated by this situation and feel badly let down by the structures in pace where I work. I feel like Iām fighting this whole thing on my own and not getting anywhere.
Iām frightened that if I go to the police this woman will twist everything like she has so far and I will be the one in trouble with the police. I donāt have much evidence and during the mediation process this woman twisted everything I said and basically mirrored my behaviour making out that I was the one with the problem and that I was slandering her!
I feel so helpless and furious with myself for being so intimidated. Iāve never been this low before, have hit rock bottom. My symptoms are all returning with a vengeance, chronic fatigue, balance issues and numbness in my arm to mention a few.
Freckles
I am so sorry that this business is clouding your life, still.
What would it take for you to feel vindicated? It does not sound as though the employment law route is a realistic option. And the criminal law route would surely be a most gruelling and bruising process with (as you say so eloquently) no guarantee of a good outcome and a real risk, given your adversaryās manipulation skills, of blowing up in your face. For sure, being vindicated by success down this route would taste sweet, but it would come at the end of a very grim process. Are you prepared for things to get much worse before they (maybe) get better? Worth a shot, maybe, if you have limitless energy, a sleepless appetite for vengeance and nerves of steel. Do you?
Quite honestly, Freckles, in your shoes I would be inclined to walk away and to turn to other things for solace and the rebuilding of my confidence and enjoyment of life.
Alison
I canāt understand why on earth you should be in trouble, unless there is some aspect of this you havenāt revealed, that means you wouldnāt come out of it looking exactly squeaky clean.
I also donāt understand why witnesses would lie or refuse to answer. Are her relatives the local equivalent of the Krays or something? Otherwise, what hold does she have over people, that theyād be willing to lie for her? Even if I thought I was friendly with someone at work, but Iād seen clearly with my own eyes that theyād been harassing or assaulting a disabled colleague, the obligations of the friendship would end right there - in fact, the friendship would end right there, unless I had some overwhelming reason to think she was ill, or making a cry for help - in which case I still wouldnāt lie for her, but might admit: āYes, I did see something, but itās out-of-character, and I understand sheās been under a great deal of stress lately.ā
Has something happened at work that means you donāt have as much sympathy as you otherwise might? You have to excuse me for asking, but I donāt understand why everyone would close ranks to protect this seemingly blatantly nasty piece of work. Why is she popular, and youāre not? As I say, unless her brothers are the modern incarnation of the Krays, and anyone who speaks out would fear a visit?
Somethingās not making sense.
I also donāt quite understand the āthree monthsā thing. I understood this was still going on to this day? Or has it stopped now, and youāre dealing with purely historical events? If sheās NOT doing it any more, I tend to think Alison raises some very valid questions about how much itās worth to you to address something - however unjust - that may have happened ages ago.
Tina
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I donāt think in a lot of cases a person lies about what they see, they just say they saw nothing because they donāt want to get involved/rock the boat (finding this very common in the UK compared to even back in Canada).
wouldnāt think the 3 months would apply since its still going on and a lot of the time people donāt speak up in cases like this because they donāt want it happening to themselves. but yeah donāt get why you feel like you will get in trouble for something you havenāt done, unless like tina said you are worried about something because that would be the only reason you would get in trouble. but from everything you have written here and in other threads, this person just comes across as a horrible person who is the big problem not you.
The three months is in relation to what the witnesses saw, and I think Faula you are right about people not wanting to get involved. It is still very much ongoing sheās extremely opportunistic, and whenever she can calls me a cripple cnt, and a bith.
I have been told from the first day I raised a complaint not to talk about this situation and I havenāt unless itās to relevant people in authority, so I donāt know what peopleās opinions are. Iāve always had a lot of support from colleagues since my dx.
People are afraid of the reputation of her partner, he allegedly used to be something of a drug dealer. I have no idea if this is true or just rumour.
None of this makes sense to me I think this woman needs professional help, she used to come into work drunk and I think she maybe canāt remember half of the things she has said and done to me.
I have done absolutely nothing wrong. All Iāve done is defend my right to work in an abusive free environment, and not gat harassed because of my disability.