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Well p***ed off

Just had a horrible couple of days. Started off on Tuesday back to work after a weeks break.

Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Computers were down so was playing catch up all morning. Got home frazzled.

it was our 36 wedding anniversary but what did hubby do? Upset me didn’t he? Went on and on about me giving up work. I know it is getting too much for me but I will do it in my own time.

Wednesday still upset and down about things, so I thought I would come on here and moan. But no, tried to log on but it would not accept my password. New password. Had to do the copy and paste thing. Didn’t work, hence new user name.

Then to top it all I have a viewing tonight so have to clean house. Well now I am tired, sore and in a bad mood.

please can someone cheer me up?

Sorry for the ramble, I just had to get it out.

mags xx

Oh Mags, it sounds like you have had a rough time of late, feel sorry for you. I know its easier said than done, but, try not to stress about it, ms likes nothing more to have a reason to rear its ugly head. Hopefully by coming on here, and letting it out, will make it easier for you.

Regarding work, only you can make that decision, and you will know when. My neuro and gp kept harping on about it to me, and very reluctantly followed their advice, and with hindsight it was the right decision for me. I expect your hubby is thinking about your well being, but sometimes we don’t want to hear it, although it is done in the best intention. Sorry about your anniversary, perhaps you can celebrate later, especially if the viewing has a positive outcome, fingers crossed for you.

The new set up on the forum has had lots of gremlins, but admin are making their way through them, but lots of people have had problems on the site, me being one.

Hope you feel better soon, one day at a time, be kind to yourself.

Pam x

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Sorry you are having such a bad few days, it’s Sod’s law when one thing goes wrong something else will follow. It’s a very stressful time selling your home and the added work of keeping on top of household chores just makes it worse.

If you are determined to stay at work but your hubby wants you to stop then I’m assuming you could manage money wise, my suggestion is be kind to yourself and employ a cleaner to take aware some of the workload.

hope you feel brighter soon.

Jan x

Hi Jan,

That’s just it, I don’t think we could manage financially. With all the expense of selling and buying our new flat. I was going to wait until we were settled in our flat and then have a rethink.

I wouldn’t even know where to start to find out about if I was entitled to any benefits. I get the old DLA standard care but didn’t get anything for mobility. My mobility has deteriated since then but I have heard so many scare stories that I don’t know if I have the energy to take on the fight.

i know I had a bad day on Tuesday but that was an exceptionally difficult day, it is never usually as bad as that.

But I do know that hubby is worried about me and I know myself that there is a desicion to be made but just not now.

it was just so good to get everything off my chest.

You are right though it is a very stressful time.

thanks for caring

Mags xx

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Sometimes there is just too much going on so we put up with things till we have the time to look after ourselves. It’s silly but we do it and who am I to suggest you do otherwise. Maybe a few days or weeks sick leave to help over this difficult time. If your walking isn’t so good then ignore the horror stories and apply for the mobility component, in the first instance ring DLA up tell them you have some care but now need mobility and ask them how you should proceed. There should be a phone number on any letter you have had off them re your standard care. I have mobility but not care and that is what I have been advised to do by someone who worked in the department that deals with this kind of benefit. Haven’t done it yet, like you too many other things going on!!!

I think if you are working there is only DLA/PIP if you’re not working then I think there is only ESA. Someone else may know different.

Best wishes

Jan x

Hi Mags,

i just love how caring Jan is, people here have a heart of gold. I too had a terrible day yesterday, must have been something in the water. When hubby surprised me with a bouquet I burst into tear, but like Jan said, all I was doing was making myself more unwell. I knew I couldn’t carry it on today or I would continue a decline into soreness.

Between your work and selling and buying a house, I would say your brimming over with “to do lists” that won’t be helping how you feel either. I totally agree with Jan you will know in your own time, however, please take it from one who fought for far too long for a company who gave me nothing while I gave my all, you will get by.

If you are made to leave work due to ill health you would receive ESA, you can get this as well as DLA/PIP in fact don’t worry about the scare stories please.

My area is moving everyone who is up for renewal of DLA (me) over to PIP there is no point in me worrying about it, it won’t change what some suit is sitting thinking, I will still need to go for a medical. Although I’m newly dx with PPMS ive been getting ill for four years and been very poor walking and hand usage and eye problems for 2 years.

i could advise you what I think you should do, but you have to decide when it’s right. I went from managing an office to signed off by my doctor and Neuro and we just survive in the money, it’s just about adjustments to life, but they are worth it or I would have worked myself 6 feet under.

hugs Mags

Polly xxxx

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Hi Mags,

sorry you’ve had such a rotten few days. Hope you are feeling a bit brighter now.

everyone has given you such good advice…I can only confirm what they have all said…it is so hard to give up work but although I missed it at first I knew I was slowly killing myself and I have never regretted it. As to the money…yes it’s a shock at first but you know with a few adjustments here and there it’s entirely possible to manage. I am so much happier now, even with far less money coming in.

Hope you and hubby have got over your niggle now…crazy how badly it can affect us isn’t it?

Nina x

Hi everyone,

Thanks for caring. I have got over my little wobble.

Its amazing what 24 hours can do. We just accepted an offer on our house today. I know things can still go wrong but he is a cash buyer and has given us a reasonable entry date.

We also have found somewhere to live temporarily so things seem to be fitting in nicely at the moment. ( touch wood ).

I have promised my hubby I will look into early retirement when our new flat is ready.

I have an appointment with a neuro physio in September, so I am hoping they can come up with something to help with mobility.

My husband and girls think I am in denial about my condition but I am painfully aware of my limitations.

At least that’s the viewings over with and we have a bit of breathing space but I don’t think for I moment that’s the end of the stress.

Hope you all have a lively weekend.

Mags xx

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Hello Mags,

When I felt the need for more support, I applied online for the middle level of the domestic allowance and they awarded me the highest level. As for giving up work, there is never a right time as it is sometimes difficult to realise when the signs are there. I had regular “reviews” with my boss and learned about all the right procedures. Retiring early was the best thing I ever did! Of course it’s different for everyone! I had a fairly dreadful time last week and needed bacon and egg for breakfast on the Saturday-oh how it helped. I hope things continue to look a bit brighter for you.

Best wishes, Steve.

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Hi Steve,

Sometimes it is just the small things in life that give you that lift.

My guilty pleasure is a melted mars bar with a dollop of ice cream. Yum! Yum! and I wonder why I put on weight. Lol!

Yeah! Just got a laugh on face book watching my daughter who I haven’t seen for a few weeks doing the ice bucket challenge.

Have a lovely weekend,

Mags xx

Mags here some hugs from Margate.

Hope you feeling bit better do find out about mobility and tell them the truth about what your like at your worse

Xxx Don