Oh dear…2 watery catastrophes in 2 days!!!
I usually go to bed after tea, as I need to stretch out and get me stays off!
Getting ready for bed is a bit of a rigmarole…here`s how it goes;
I finish my tea and place my tray on a little table at side of my recliner. I sling up and hoist me into my wheelie. Hubby helps if i look to be missing my target and getting stuck with my glamourous new foot flop stopper boot, on the footrest…think of the Red Devils ending up in a tree by mistake…and you`ve got a similar image!
Then I gather up my accoutrements…there I go, still using posh words…glasses, mobile phone, house phone, water bottle, wee bottle, spc wee bag, I know…all I need is a cabbage…Crackerjack fans will know what that means…talking about cabbages, once when out with sis (one of my carers), she wanted some veg. I said
Do you want a cabbage? quite innocently and she replied,
No, ive got you!
Huh! Chuffing nice, eh? Weve got over it, except sometimes she calls me egabbac…that cabbage backwards…hmm!
Anyway, where was I?..oh yeh, so I`ve got all my gear, complete with dangling sling straps around my knees and wheels and I somehow make it to the bedroom. I drop all the gear on the bed, then travel backwards (narrow hallway bearing battlescars on the paintwork and woodwork (reminder that I am Boudica here) empty my bottle, refill my water bottle, yeh, I do have to be careful not to mix the 2 bottles up!..clean my toothipegs, wash my mitts and fisog, head back to the boudoir.
I take my top half clothes off, get my nightie on…ay, I
ve cut all me negligegs up the back, like hopsital gowns, so that they dont clump underneath me in bed and cause pressure pains, then holler for told fella to come do the best bits!
Not to be quite as graphic here, he rids me of my lower garments, we sling me up and get me onto the commode. He drags me to the bathroom , where if my bowels are playing nicely, I do the necessary. Then it
s sling time and hoist again into bed. We both make a loud sigh of relief...........shes in and hopefully settled down until morning.
That`s the usual routine in our gaff…I imagine most of you do the same sort of expedition.
So yeh, all`s well. I watch a bit of Jezza, then Eggheads, Emmerdale, Corrie with a dash of 8 out of 10 or Mock the Week to finish off the day, before slumber calls.
But oh no! Last night it didnt go according to plan.
At 9ish, i heard a drip…drip…drip. I checked my pipe wasnt blocked…ok…looked at my collection bag hanging on my bedrail and oh no! It was empty!!! i
d been in bed 3 hours, so there shouldve been at least a litre or more in it.
I looked at the floor…half lino and half carpet…there was a puddle. Chuffin
Oh Graham, please come............come now! I cried. He wasnt too chuffed at being called just as his fav prog was finishing…Stargate!
I quickly explained and he fetched the mop (Granville) and disinfectant. Not a happy bunny with me!
This morning, after being dressed and all clean for the day, I found a wet patch on my thigh…didnt know how it got there. Checked the pipe…ok…checked the bag…fine. Dried it off and re-positioned my day bag. Another wet patch 30 mins later…
Now what? I thought. A closer examination of the pipe revealed a split!!!
Hubby was called to help again, with a change of bag, clothes and much huffing and puffing!
So 2 lessons learned…empty begs need to have their taps closed and pipes do get split if you hang them over a grab rail in the bathroom and then squash them as you lift the rail up!
All sorted now, but life`s never dull here with me!