`ere, who fancies a laff?

Allo gang!

What fun I had last night…not!

Got up for a wee around 9ish last night. All went well. Hoisted mesen fine.

11pm, I heard hubby turn telly off and coming to bed. So, up i hoisted ready for last wee of night. Cold hot water bottle was on top of commode lid. I thought hubby would appear, but no.By this time, I was aloft and I start spinning. I make a jerk in an effort to shift bottle and lid onto floor. Cant go back down to bed, as ive started weeing.........tek another swipe at bottle and commode lid..............just tipped em and plop! they fell into pan…then I remembered… I hadnt asked t`old fella to empty last wee out.


By now I am hovering over tcommode and trying to fish contents out............hubby seems to be an age getting to bedroom...............then I grab a corner of hotties fleecy cover and pull…it comes out and wee is splashing all over the place! Am I in chuffin` trouble now!

Finally I lower myself, in time to finish weeing in right place. Hubby appears and sees mess on floor and just rolls his eyes! What took so long? I ask. The chuffin kitchen tap has packed up. Cant get any water!`

He sees my predicament and mops it up. I need my bed! he ses. Me too. Goodnight. I reply as he tucks me in and gives me a goodnight kiss.

Just a typical day in our gaff!

luv Pollx


We should get together and write a book on our ‘toilet antics’. l am sure it would become a best-seller. No chance of it being a Richard and Judy Summer Read though.

My young rottie managed to get a tray of eggs - 30 in total - and eat the lot - shells and all. The ‘outcome’ was disastrous - thick green slime all over my living-room carpet and rug. Why oh why he could not have stayed on the kitchen tiles. After scrubbing with vanish carpet shampoo it still looked awful and smelt like sulphur. So l googled - in desperation - ‘‘How do you get the smell of dog sh!t out of a carpet’’ - lt was obvious that l was one of many who have asked this question. Up came an answer ‘‘Simple Solution’’ -which l managed to get very quickly from amazon [ good old amazon] l bought the Simple Solution Extreme Carpet Shampoo - and also the Simple Solution spray. Well it is amazing. Put some in my carpet shampoo machine - and it cleaned up a treat. And l have also sprayed the chair legs/table legs where occasionally l have caught one of the dogs cocking his leg. The solution contains an enzyme that gets rid of the stain/smell without covering it. ln the past l have tried so many different products - and some are very expensive. So l am thrilled to find something that actually does work. lt even lifted old wine stains.

Poll, we spend our lives ‘wiping up’ - all the wiping and mopping up after our babies/children/pets - it never ends - so its best to laugh!!!



Oh Poll, so glad you laugh at things like this. I did laugh but only because you did, and the way you you guys don’t let it get you down. Makes my day!


Hi Poll

I know I shouldn’t…but I have to admit, reading your post

did make me laugh, but now I feel guilty, I just had this picture

im my mind, and off I went.

I do hope things have been better for you today, keep smiling.

Pam x


sorry to say but that didnt half make me laugh, so much that my other half had to see what the fuss was.

He said that he bets we could make a book up with all the things that happen to us.

here is one of many misshaps i’ve had:- one time i needed to go loo, i managed to haul myself out of bed without waking Mick up. Doing my Herman Munster impression, off i go to the bathroom. Once finished, i get off the toilet only to immediatly fall over backwards, wedging myself between the sink and toilet. As i went down my shoulder flushed the toilet. All the noise got Mick rushing in to find me stuck, pj bottoms round my ankles and my right hand in the now flushed toilet.

We have been together 26years, good job he knows me so well, well if he did’nt before, he does now.

Horrible when it happened but can laugh about it now.

Any other funny stories out there?


Glad you all understood and tittered at my antics.

yes, we have to laff or we`d cry.

Not funny when its actually happening, tho eh?

Nowt to report today…just the usual boring stuff.

But me and my morning carer always have a laff when shes dressing me. Ive recently bought 4 packs of nix and she ses they are all difficult to pull up.

I cant go without or else there would be puddles everywhere.

carer has a new pup and has to clean up after it too!

luv Pollx

Hi Poll Pleased you are “upbeat” about your latest antics! As you say if we didn’t laugh we’d cry, as I do an awful lot of ;( I get so frustrated at not being able to do the simplest things. Your carer sounds like she is having plenty of practice with her new pup! Hope the new hoists are behaving? Luv Linda x

Poll, Do tell your carer about ‘Simple Solution’ - just the thing for her to use when mopping up after her new puppy.


I will. Ta hun.