The title of today`s post will make you cringe when you read why I have quoted that long running classic comedy!
This morning, I was very excited! After moaning about the state of our lounge carpet…it isnt that old, maybe 5 years and wasn
t cheap, but what with my wheels and little Lucys occassional mishaps (she
s a toy poodle, who like her mummy, has bladder problems.........well she is going on 15), plus hubbys size 10 smelly trainer feet, have all left the carpet looking somewhat sad.
And we are getting a new sofa delivered by the good old DFS (no, I`m not on commission, but it might get zapped by the word zapper). So I kept dropping hints that a new sofa would look much nicer, if it was sitting on a new carpet. Not much to ask, is it?
Well the hints didnt really really land right, so I had to get more naggy than usual…poor Mr. Polly, hardly gets any peace!
Last night as I was watching telly, the ad came on for another big discount retail outlet. I shouted throught the wall to the lounge, where Mr Polly was watching his fav progs.
The advert has just been on.
Oh, what about it?
Theyve got a big sale on this weekend.`
Is that the Huddersfield branch?
Yeh, it is. Can we go?
So this morning, as the lovely Mr Polly brought Mrs Polly
s breakfast tray in to the bedroom (oh that carpet is absolutely knacked from accidents when I was doing Niagara impressions, unwittinngly, but 1 carpet at a time, eh?), when I steeled myself and said Are you going to that carpet shop, luv?`
What????? he growled back. Wrong moment picked to ask…you do have to be canny with these Mr Polly types, don`t you?
Are you going to the carpet shop?
Can I come please?
Theyve got steps, you can
t get in.
Ill get in. They must have a delivery door`.
Right, so nearly there…you are a patient lot…hold on…
Carer came and I told her how excited I was at going carpet shopping. We slung me up, over the commode and down…
In my dash for getting showered etc, i
d come down on the sticking up handle of the commode..........yeh, right up me jacksy!!!!!!!!!!! Carer saw what was occuring and shouted, Go up, go up!
My finger couldnt seem to find enough strength to press the up button. The offending post was well and truly up, and seemed to hit a bone and jam itself.
Arrgghh, I cried some more.
After what felt like an age, I was free of the object and then managed to land in the right place.
But oh was my bum chuffin
sore.............yes, it chuffin was!
We got me into the bathroom and carer had a look. it was bleeding a bit and still very sore.
We washed me and
it, then carefully and got me back in the air, so she could peer where no self respecting carer should have to peer for too long! Bless her, she`s an angel!
Back on the bed and looking even more closely, she said,`I think you ought to call a district nurse…it looks bruised!
Being a Saturday, I had to call the emergency number and the call taker had to ask what the problem was. When I told she said,
Oh dear, That does sounds painful dear.
Luckily district nurse arrived 30 mins later. She had a look and said,
Oh, that does look sore dear. Do you know, this all sounds very Mrs Bucket!..pronounced b.u.c.k.e.t.
She said there was a little tear, but no need for A & E…than heavens. I didnt want to appear on
Bizarre ER. I`ve seen some weird and wonderful accident victims on trolleys with all manner of articles stuck in their bodies…but never a commode!
So, cavilon barrier cream was put around the damaged area and I completed getting dressed.
Oh by the way, we chose a lovely flat weave carpet and it should be fitted soon.
have a nice day all and watch where you land, eh?