you are going to think im just plain-wired up wrong, tried to tell hubby again last night about how ive been feeling etc and failed miserably-so i have sent him a message-i know its wrong to do that and very impersonal but i feel like telling him is the end of my world (or the one ive been pretending about)that the real me is finally revieled, which i know isnt a bad thing-and the only changes apparent at the moment will be the ones in my head.
he will be brilliant as always but feel like im totally letting him down.if i lived a thousand different lives i couldnt find anyone i love more,and i know he feels the same-
I can see the changes in me already-im taking my daughter away for a few days, booked a girly weekend,and am trying to organise my sons work experience week-which will mean a week in travel lodge somewhere-two weeks ago i would have said no to all because i was to busy.
wish me luck its going to be a long evening of tears and wine
Hi there. First let me say I dont think youre wired wrong…at least not in the sense that i think you`re not thinking right.
Not a bit of it! but then i guess we are `wired wrong in a different sense, meaning that our physiology is wrong…MS stuff and the like!
I do identify with a lot of what you say.I also find it hard to convey, in words, what I am feeling to my husband. I do actually say what I mean, but he rarely gets it!
And this is after almost 40 years of marriage. Will we ever really know each other, I wonder? Doubt it!
Like you, I have a great hubby and would never find another as good. Wouldn`t want to try!
But he just cant do emotions. Hell cook me a fabulous meal, build me a ramp, peg the washing out and loads of other things, but if I cry or try to tell him how I am feeling, he clams up and usually rushes out to his shed, to saw some wood or bang a nail into something!
I just have to remember all his care and kindness during our long marriage and my 13 years of MS like illness.
Cheers Polly- my hubby is very much the same-a complete rock.and he to has a shed that he scarpers off to in times of tears. and I , instead of saying what i want/need to bake him a cake instead- he must have realised something is up as he’s had 2 cakes this week…
it was mentioned to me yesterday that i need to give myself permission to be me- and it kind of makes sense, have been trying or rather not trying this morning and have really enjoyed just tidying up,cuddles with the dogs, now trying to sort the sock draw out
have a couple hours of work to do later but i have all day-
Good luck, BC. If you are planning to devote more of your time and energy than you have recently felt able to spare to cakes and who knows what other mutually satisfactory activities, I’m sure you’ll get no complaints,
Good luck, BC. If you are planning to devote more of your time and energy than you have recently felt able to spare to cakes and who knows what other mutually satisfactory activities, I’m sure you’ll get no complaints,
Sorry that came through twice. Blame the cursed, wretched, hideous identification hoop they are making me jump through for every single sodding message!!!