Whatever I am I don’t like it, last night I got in shower ready for physio today, I no longer like the shower and do get quite wound up about it. Last night I felt rubbish before I got in but many times worse when I got out ended up shouting. Hubby said something about leaving me, not for the first time and I started shouting and screaming like a banshee. I told him to just get on with it and did he want me to open the door for him. Then he said you really meant that didn’t you, I had a glass in my hand so he took it from me I think I may have used it on him. He has told me quite a few times if he goes I won’t manage and I know he’s right. He used to say he would put me in a care home until I told him that was where I wanted to be so he now says he will leave. He went for some beer and said see what you have driven me to. It is just the two of us, son just home from uni, if asked he does help but he is young and doesn’t see things that need doing. Today he asked if I thought I was the only one a/effected by this I know I’m not but I’m being selfish and thinking it’s worse for me. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I feel so alone but I just keep pushing him and he does everything for me including housework, cooking and shopping I would love the chance to help with some of the things but he just says it’s easier alone. I should be seeing a phsycologist soon so hope that helps.
Thanks to anyone that reads this