Just had another row with him…just feel that as im not working any more because of this stupid MS, that im so insignificant.
It kills me at times to cook meals for the family or to do the smallest amount of housework yet I have to beg or shout to get any help.
This time around he said “oh poor you, poor you”…In all honestly I am totally heartbroken. I didn
t bring this disease into the row at all and certainly didnt ask for it yet I get no real help or understanding from him at all, yet when his Sister calls on the phone saying she is suicidal, he makes all the time in the world for her.
I often break down crying as often each day brings new symptoms or the realisation of this stupid disease hits me. (diagnosed in 2009 yet still coming to terms with my gradual loss of mobility) I am finding it harder to get up the stairs now as numbness and footdrop is slowly getting worse in my left leg & foot. Have mentioned this to him and said we will need to look at moving the bedroom downstairs soon, I cannot even remember the response now but not helpful anyhow.
I have never met such an unhelpful & lazy man at times. It breaks my heart at the thought of living this life for the rest of my life the same. Just dont know what to do anymore.
t get me wrong I know im no angel and dragged his family into the argument and swore at him so I am not fully blaming him, just feel he sees me as being lazy, awkward and stubborn, when in all honestly he doesnt see half the tears I shed when I realise I no longer am able to put up a shelf, a curtain rail, hoover throughout or mop the kitchen floor without rendering myself uncapable of cooking the evening meal due to no energy or strength left. (Just one job at a time!)
I have just given up smoking and am trying to lose weight at the same time and raise a family in what seems like at times a one parent family, just sitting here looking at all the jobs that are accumilating in the house and feeling so crap about myself be cause I can no longer do it all and have to rely on someone who wont even bother try to help me or get the kids to lift a lazy finger. I would not be here now if I didn`t have the children and worry about what it would do to them should I do anything silly…so stuck here…alive…