Today i will mostly be....


Yes i have MS it doesn’t have me, and all the other mantras you can throw at this stupid condition.

Had a bad day last week, took me a while to get over it. Woke this morning feeling positive and despite the usual pain, spasms, other body malfunctions and negative thoughts lurking in my mind, I have decided that today i am not in the mood to be miserable (despite the weather.) Anyone else with me?

I will not be bullied today - so screw you MS. Think i might be feeling a bit angry too…

Hugs and empathy to all those not having a good day - hope it passes quickly for you and tomorrow is better

Don’t know why this is anon - i could swear i’m not ticking the box?!

hi laura

i’m at permanent war with my ms.

it likes to think its winning (may well be) but i’m not going down without a fight.

carole x

LoL re the anonymous posting! I was just rolling my eyes about why yet another person felt the need to go anon for a perfectly non-contentious, non-embarrassing post. Then spotted your explanation. I’m glad you hadn’t opted for a veil of anonymity after all.

Well, I’m struggling a bit today.

I went for a really long organised walk yesterday - far longer than advertised, as there were a number of unplanned diversions, including one due to a bull in a field, and another because the footpath was too overgrown to negotiate.

I climbed over a load of stiles, with some trepidation, but no mishaps, so should be feeling really pleased and happy today. Instead, I just feel stiff from all the walking, and clambering over things, which my muscles really don’t want to do any more. And now it’s rainy, I’ve realised just how bored I am.

There are lots of things I could/should be doing - like housework, trying to equip myself for a new job, etc. etc. Yet none I really WANT to do. I’m supposed to be doing a couple of correspondence courses in proofreading and editing, because I had some sort of vague notion I might someday be able to do it freelance, from home. But I’ve barely started one of them, and the other not at all. Already, I’m getting e-mails from the course administrators, wondering if I’m stuck, because I haven’t submitted any work yet. But still I don’t get on and do it, even though I’m moaning I’m bored.

I think doing it as a job is a pipe dream, as I don’t seem very interested. I got on loads better with the short OU module, “Galaxies, Stars and Planets”, but recognize that had NO value as a career stepping-stone. But maybe that’s why I got on better? I was doing it purely for interest’s sake, and not because I felt I ought to. As soon as I get the feeling: “You need to do this, because you should be getting a job!”, all interest goes out of it for me.

I wonder how realistic it is, just to accept I’m “retired”? If I’m honest, I don’t really want to work again, and I’m not even much drawn to voluntary work. I left the last lot under a cloud, as I became “ill”, but couldn’t clarify with what - that was back in the days before I was diagnosed. I’m pretty sure they thought I was just a shirker and a malingerer, who had wasted all the training spent on me. I can hardly blame them; I thought the same myself, as I had very scant grasp of what was wrong with me - if anything!

Anyway, sorry to be such a misery guts. Didn’t mean to drag you down from your positive post.

Damp weather definitely not helping. It could be psychological, but I think it fundamentally affects how I am. My gardener has just turned up - thank goodness, as he’s left it six weeks, and the grass is knee-high! I was a bit annoyed. The forecast is better for the end of the week, so all being well, I can sit out there again, once he’s cleared the jungle.



Since taking LDN - my whole outlook has changed. lt is supposed to increase endorphins - ‘a feel good effect’ - and yes it does. l have been taking it about 5yrs - heard about it on this site, so did some research, and thought as l have SPMS [31yrs]

and there is nothing on offer for me - what have l got to lose. Well, what l did lose for a start was terrible Trigeminal Neuralgia that had made my life a misery for years. My brain is more elert - l actually feel brighter and best of all l am feeling more able to cope with my ms symptoms. So its not a cure - it does not give me any bad side-effects - unlike when l was on baclofen/tizanidine - both of these drugs - and only a low dose - left me like a cabbage. l could hardly stand - but worse of all l found l did not even want to stand. Now thats a bad way to be. The dark cloud has gone - the mental fog as it is called. l still struggle to walk - need a rollator to get about indoors and my scooter for outside. But at least now l actually want to get up and out. l have to use a ‘gripper rod’ to help me dress -put on shoes - even to pull on my knicks and jeans. This morning it is much cooler - so l attempted to put on some socks. lt took me ages with the gripper and a long handled shoe horn - but l did it - and was overjoyed over something as mundane as that. l am now definitely a glass half full sort of person.

The comediene whose ‘catchphrase’ is 'Today l will mostly be… whose name l forget - my daughter says she sees him in her ‘local’

Such Fun!

I went through a real time of feeling really fed and down with MS it got me totally, I was also struggling with lots of other things, a new baby, a horrid time with long term sickness from work and some major personal issues that were just causing me so much stress and the dreaded ESA. Well finally in the last few weeks its all started to resolve, and weirdly the day I got the letter to say my pension was being paid in I had a few really good days. But the heat and humidity has stumped me completely. I can’t make my brain work and can’t make any sort of decision even when it comes to what I am going to get ready for tea. My legs and ankles are painful and its taking me all my effort to motivate myself to get up. Oh well, maybe when the humidity goes down I will be on the up again!

Well it was fun while it lasted

sometimes i feel that it’s not the ms that’s the problem, it’s other people. This ranges from my mum who thinks I’m just lazy and my problem is that I’m bored to my husband who has said he can’t cope with ms and after my 1st visit to hospital where he complained that this was a waste of his day off has never been to a single appointment since.I get told often of people knowing someone who died most terribly from ms to the ones who say that a friend has it and they’re fine, i should try to be more like them.I really appreciate you guys on here cos I know you know how I feel and I get the best advise here.And i love the jokes and anecdotes too.

ms is a bummer but I’m still smiling. I have a crazy walk now and wierd sensations, memory terrible but at least i now have an excuse for the late birthday cards i send and i guess i was always wierd, or just special!

that post should end with today i will be wierd, or special?