I believe there are many people, like me, who, every night, want to go to sleep and never wake up. Euthanasia SHOULD be legalised in this country, so it is no longer necessary to go to . But that is my opinion and I respect those of you who can cope with this ‘condition’ and believe there may come a ‘cure’. I am NOT depressed I just don’t want to exist like this.
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I have to say academically I believe euthanasia to be morally right if but only if the decision is solely that of the sick person. The unfortunate reality is though that when it comes, as I believe it will, then people will be encouraged to do it so as not to burden others.
However my wife did get to the point about eight years ago that she was in agony every night and wanted me to help her end it all and whist I thought it was the right decision I just could not bring myself to do it.
It did however get her into desperately seeking a solution to her problem and she trawled the web for hours until she discovered LDN. It took us about six months to make that stop the disease progressing primarily because she also needed to find out about medical magnets to almost completely resolve the back problem that was the cause of all the pain. Now stable with no disease progression she is not in the least suicidal any more.
This therefore leaves me in the situation that I still academically believe euthanasia is right but I am much more concerned about a medical system that is clearly based almost entirely on the love of money. It has little independent research and hushes up so many low cost safe treatments that would clearly save many people from ever getting to the point of wanting to die in the first place.
To me changing the medical system is much more important that legalizing euthanasia.
[quote=domesticgoddess]
Hi Chris,
Your post was honest and full of feelings that must strike a chord with a lot of us. Thankyou !. Last year i was in a very black space and yes i looked at Dignitas as a way out. The site was horrible, cold and if you saw the TV program the most sadest of places with a lack of TLC. The loss of me not being around for my family stopped me. The old MS forum helped me through my black space as i call it. These guys (Pollx, Magnum,Anitra) and many others helped me more than they will ever know! I sallute them all !
I met a guy in the next town to where i live. He was collecting for MS and was in a wheel chair. We bothed laughed because after just a few mins we were chatting about bowel accidents. Total stranger yet so personal a subject. A year ago if i was asked about this i would have got in a rite old state. Now i was laughing with a fellow MSr.
The mental scars that our MS gives us, stay with us if we let them, however scars can fade and heal with the right kind of help.
Thats it, i,m done cognative problems have started.
Jane, domesticgoddess xxx
Hi Jane.
Yes i saw that program,and you are right it did look a sad place.Dont no why but it reminded me of the old days,back room abortions that type of thing.
Hopefully if we ever have this in the UK hope they make it more friendly and more caring.
Till then,
Take Care.
Chris
[quote=Milliemoo1]Keep talking Chris, we’re all listening and most of us understand what your saying, I’m very lucky to have a great family behind me but even so nobody knows what it’s like unless there the same, I’ve been in a wheelchair, and suffered incontinence etc for years, one day maybe a miracle?
Hi Millie,
I am glad you have a great family,it can make life a lot easier for people.
Sadly most of us dont,it would be great if we where all like the Waltons.
Till then most of us just have to grin and bear it.
Take Care.
Chris.
[quote=mogworks]I believe there are many people, like me, who, every night, want to go to sleep and never wake up. Euthanasia SHOULD be legalised in this country, so it is no longer necessary to go to . But that is my opinion and I respect those of you who can cope with this ‘condition’ and believe there may come a ‘cure’. I am NOT depressed I just don’t want to exist like this.
Hi Mogworks.
Yes i believe it should be legalised as well.
But some how i can not see this happing.
Yes there are somedays i go to bed and hope that i dont wake up.
But i would miss my Grandchildren, it seems i can only smile when they have been up to see me.
Till my time is up,i just have to grin and bear it.
Take Care.
Chris.
thanks for the post on a very taboo subject,
i beleive that you have written it in a way that people will stop and read and that is what this site is supposed to be for support and guidence, wer here if you need someone to listen
samixx
Hi Chris + others,
I cant for one minute say i understand your feelings + hope i never have too, i just wanted to hope you all find a way off copeing. love + hugs julsiexx
hi, chris thank you wish i had read this before.
i’ve had bome very dark days, wish i did not have this.
i think about suaside but i could not do that to my family, my mum killedher self when i was 16!! i could not put anyone throw whjat i went throw nothing jelps you deel with that so guys if you are thinking of this just btop for a minute and think of those you leve be hind.and thank you again chris for opening a very difficult door.
take care all kathy
Hi Yes it is a taboo subject
I’m not going to say much about it
I feel it is an option for me - eventually
I’m not depressed and don’t need counselling
I love life and am happy presently
I just weigh up the options
and this seems reasonable to me.
;-o Mary
Well said my sentiments exactly
Care is not something I have experienced from the NHS
If care existed and if I’d experienced it I’d definitely feel different
I beleive in the care not killing campaign
But first CARE has to be there…
;-o Mary
Hi everyone, I am glad this subject has been brought up, when I worked as a staff nurse I used to scorn people that came into hospital after attemping to commit suicide. I used to think they were ‘attention seeking’ now as I think of commiting suicide as my MS gets worse & the list of things I can no longer do for myself gets bigger I now think that these people were brave & often wish I had the courage to do what they did. Then I think this is probably my punishment for being so judgemental in the past. I know that if I did commit suicide everyone will be surprised because I am always so cheerful. I am always being told that I ‘look well’ which is very annoying because this is not how I feel.
As all of us ladies are aware we always feel worse at certain times of the month physically & emotionly, I will probably feel slightly better next week & not have these thoughts. Take care everyone & try to be as happy as you can, eastenders to look forward to later this always cheers me up LOL.
SYLVIA xx
Hi All.
When i first wrote about this in Oct i did not think it it would still be around in Feb.I think when i wrote it i was looking for some closure,and seeing it in black and white i think it did.
It took me a long time to write the post,and i am glad that i did.If i have made one person think about it again, that will do.
Kathy, i am sorry you lost your mum when you where so young.At least you under stand both sides of the coin.[no help i Know]
Yes Sarah kids make it i little bit better, for me it is my Grandchildren.
Sylvia i get a lot of that, your looking well,when in fact your head is like a bag of defrosted mince,since people have to say something i suppose it is better than you look crap.[eastenders you sad person its not real]
Thank you everyone who replied.
Take Care.
Chris.
Ps what is it with this word verification ?
Hmm generaly being a bull in a china shop when it comes to tact I’ll try and tip toe through this one!
I have always thought assisted suicide for longterm illness should be legal in the UK. I’m not talking about depressed people or old people or people who are in a ton of debt. I mean ill people, who won’t get better and who decide that is what they want.
I do think there should be some counceling in place for the people who want it, I have no clue how much talking you should do before making the decision but I feel the decision should be yours to make not the governments.
I would tend to agree if I can’t wipe my own bottom I think i would probably not want to carry on. By legalising it they at least help reduce the number of people who might decide to jump in front of a train, kill themselves in the bathtub, leap from a building etc. That sort of thing causes all kinds of distress for other people who didn’t realise they were going to witness or take part in your death that day. I think reducing the innocent but affected victims of such an incident is a good thing and that is as much a factor in my thinking as the quality of life of the peron wishing to die.
However, I think if you’re leaving loved ones behind, it’s important to talk to them about it and get their consent/understanding. I would be horrified at the thought of my partner comming home to find me bleeding out/overdosed, the damage I could do to her seems far more than I would wish on anyone, I love her too much to consider that.
Since my diagnosis I have thought a lot about how my family would be affected if I suddenly choaked when swallowing, who would find me, what I would do during the last few breaths of air in my lungs, knowing It’s happening etc. I had a scare with a toffee a few months ago which triggered it, 10 seconds of not being able to draw breath didn’t feel like 10 seconds!
It would be far better for people to commit assisted suicide on their terms in a respectful and controlled environment then to DIY it and then everyone deal with the fallout. Having said all that drivel pouring from my mind, I believe while our pleasures may get smaller the more ill we become they are still there if you look for them. I’m not religious, I don’t believe in an afterlife so I can’t paint a rosey picture about whats waiting for me, all I can decide is that I’m not ready to end it yet and hopefully won’t be ready for a long time.
Take Care.
Hi Lyn.
The more views on this the better.
Bit lost now is it you or your husband that have MS not that it matters.Is your husband good at juggling,if he drops a spoon he has lost it,cant just go to the cuttlery drawer and get another one.
Managed to keep getting over them hurdles,its the fences that scare me, might try blinkers.
Take Care.
Chris.
Only you can see your user name when anonymous - no one else
Suicide is about those left behind,and if a person believes there is no point in continuing their existence, anybody who may be badly affected needs to be consulted. Leaving that decision too late appears to be the problem when ‘assisted’ becomes the really troublesome word.
Overly simple views perhaps,but they are mine,
Wb
personaly i agree with those that say it should be legalised. We dont let animals suffer a slow deppresing end why should we as people be expected to deal with it when we have more of an understanding and feer of it. Ultimatly the way my life is going its probable going to be my road out of this world because honestly i dont know how much longer i can put up with my life uncontrolable falling to bits before my eyes. And even if i get through my presant problems i will probable still end up taking my own life. The problem i have is i till resantly i worked in health care and eaven in expensive private care homes dignaty is an after thought and i am not willing to spend my last years rotting in some where like that. Eaven before my MS id decided that i am not going out that way and i still stand by it eaven if it means i end up rolling myself in front of a train.
There is only one way to guarantee death; think about it; and that is a plastic bag over your head. If somebody is determined and able nobody will change their mind.
So what situation would you prefer; to come home and find the love of your life turned blue; eyes bulging; tongue hanging out? Or sitting down with that person; talking about your lives together; holding hands; having a cry while their lives slowly ebbed away.
You could not ask a doctor whose one aim is life so I think Dignitas does an invaluable service.
Terry Pratchett is right.
George
Hi Chris, thankyou for sharing this most personal matter with us. Yes, it is a subject that can cause controversy. Suicide must seem the only way out, when we have battled for years, tried so many meds that we don`t know which way is up anymore.
I feel it is harder to struggle on than to give in. But my mum tried suicide a few times…all unsuccessfully. But my sis found her with a plastic bag on her head…dad found she`d taken a deliberate overdose…mum had battled heart failure for 13 years when she died…of a heart attack. Her journey took her down some very dark alleyways…psyciatric (cant spell it) hospitals scared her silly and she ran away…only to be dragged back to her personal hell.
When I first joined this site, suicide was posted about and I voiced my opinion and was barracked! It made me change my mind and see that for some, it is the only answer…just not mine.
Each to his own.
luv Pollx
I hope you are all well …even with ms. I tried suicide in April 10, but it was a bit bungled and my OH found me. I tried again in June 12 and was actually cold but again, unfortunately, here I am. I cannot walk, cannot move my legs, transfer to my wheelchair sometimes successfully, from my recliner, otherwise I end up on the floor. If I am lucky, my children are around and they can pick me up, otherwise I have to phone my OH at work and wait 40 mins. I cannot get out of the house ( ramp too high) and have no independence. I am NOT depressed, even the psychiatric nurses from the hospital said I was NOT mentally I’ll. I, just to quote Mr Colgan, cannot and do not want to live the life I’ve got. I think you pass the stage of people loving you and finding you. I regret the upset I cause, but I wish to die and I cannot, and will not ever be able to afford to go to Switzerland. I apologise if I offend anyone.