I’m just watching this lady on This Morning, saying how her husband with MS commited suicide because he didn’t want to be a burden and to be cared for.
It really makes me think, is it worth trying to aim for things in life or just plod along with life the way it is now.
Mel
Im glad i didnt see that one, im sure alot of us have one positive day and then plenty of negative too and sometimes it can be something on tv, a post or meeting another person who has struggled with ms and automatically I feel that its what I will face and cant see a way forward. And then other days ms is not forgotten but you miught still have a nice day and feel worthwhile. I have just read the book 29 gifts about a lady with ms and how she has managed emotionally and was able to feel good about herself ,its such a brilliant true life story about how we can still feel worthwhile and positive about ourselves and our future. I definetly recommend and keep having to remind myself about the techniques she uses. Sending a hug xxxzoe
Aww thanks, i’ll get that book.
Cheers Mel xx
Scary stuff i was diagnosed last december i hope i dont deterorate like that x
It is scary isn’t xx
Hi, I know this is a very touchy subject, but here`s my thoughts.
if someone decides to take their own life (see my corrie post if you like), then that is their decision. As long as they dont force someone to help them or watch them do it, then again, it is up to them.
This thing about being a burden and relying on others.
I am a person who relies heavily on others. Should my hubby die before me, heaven knows what will happen to me. I know I couldnt rely or ask my 2 daughters for help,…as we`ve already been down that route when we were in crisis 2 years ago…the outcome was a shock to me.
I wouldnt be able to live by myself, unless I lived in a warden type controlled place, where i had instant help to someone.
Now about folk being so against and worried about losing their dignity;
I am there, but do not have any worries about, as my carers and nurses have already seen my bits and pieces and wiped my bum for me, as I cant do that anymore.
I value life and want to live it as best I can.
I am sorry when I hear people say they are a burden. Have they asked their nearest and dearest if they see them as a burden?
luv Pollx
[quote=melm]
I’m just watching this lady on This Morning, saying how her husband with MS commited suicide because he didn’t want to be a burden and to be cared for.
It really makes me think, is it worth trying to aim for things in life or just plod along with life the way it is now.
Mel
Hello Mel
I think a lot is to do with the state of someone’s mind. Do you see yourself has a burden? that’s not how I see myself.
My husband has not been in great health for years…physically or mentally. I’ve never seen him has a burden…I love him!!
Now its his turn to support me…suck it up is what I say to him. Only joking
Yes!! its worth aiming for things in life Mel. Make your plans and live…you may have to make some adjustments on the way…such is the ups and downs of life. You can decide to do nothing…your choice
My family know that, in certain circumstances, I wish to be classed as ‘DNR’ - and that I do not want to be in a care home under ANY circumstances. If the latter situation arises I wish to use the services of Dignitas and my family have agreed to honour my wishes. It is a personal thing but I believe that everyone should have the freedom to choose - without the stigma intimated by a label of ‘suicide’. I do not wish my family to have the burden of caring for me and have made this quite clear. I have always encouraged my kids to be independent and to live their lives to the full - whereever in the world that takes them. My eldest daughter want to emigrate to Australia and my son doesn’t want to return to his home town. Why would I then force them, by guilt, to take me in and so put their own lives on hold?
sorry for anon but i feel its the right thing in such a post
i feel very much the same as the above. my wife and daughters have worked in and still do in care homes. ive made it very clear that i will not be going into one. life is for living and enjoying but i may have to make a choice one day and ive said since i got this dreaded illness that i wont be a burden on any of my family. Dignitas would be great but i dont have the funds for that which is a shame but hey ho thats life.
I helped nurse my father at home for the last six months of his life. I never once thought of him as a burden. In fact!! I became even closer to my father and felt very privileged to be able to look after him. x
Firstly, Blossom, you are a nurse by profession. Secondly (I hope you don’t mind me saying) but you and your father are different generations with different expectations.
As an aside, like the previous ‘anon’ poster I have family who currently work in ‘care’ - and I wouldn’t put my pet dog in ‘care’.
yea i started watching it and had to turn it off only just been diagnosed and its too scary and unsettling to hear that
I’m not quite sure what you mean anon? you will have to explain that one. I wasn’t a nurse at the time, I was a mum with two young children.
Nursing my father was one of the reason that finally led me in to my nursing career…always like to see the positives in life
I can’t go on without having things to aim for in life. I was diagnosed at the end of 2012 and took 6 months out of my Ph.D. course. In that time I had two relapses before starting Tysabri and found that it was almost unbearable, and I focused on all things I wasn’t able to do at the time. Getting back into my uni work hasn’t been easy in the slightest, but I know that I need to do it while I still can and it will set me up for the future when I may not be as well as I am now.
I try to concentrate on each day as it is and find the positives in them. I am scared of what will happen in the future and what permanent damage the next relapse may hold, but I don’t know when that will be. I can’t live in fear of it as that would be time wasted when I could be making the most of things now. For example, I have managed to get tickets to Glastonbury this year. I don’t know how it’s going to work on crutches, how I will cope, or what the aftermath will be. What I do know is that I need to go at least one more time as I have loved every minute that I have spent there and I need to keep doing the things I love and enjoy for as long as I can.
Hello, never seen the programme, so I don’t know in what shape the husband was, but, is it a case that the suicides who doesn’t want to be a burden actually saying, if it was the other way round, I wouldn’t want to be burdened with you, who knows how bad it may get for each individual, what we are/have at the moment may be the worst situation, we get, the suicidal, to me, are selfish, they think only of themselves, not of those left to cope with the fallout afterwards, God help this country if certain individuals get their way and we have assisted suicide, long life is a gift some are denied, we must carry the cross we are given, to the end, regardless, Brian
I’ve just booked a short break to Bruges in June for me and my husband. You’d think I was arranging to climb Everest…I felt that stressed booking it, wondering if I was mad. I am a bit mad…always have been 
but I’m determined to enjoy myself 
So Freya!! Enjoy Glastonbury…crutches included 
Brian - I think suicide is the selfless way out. I don’t understand, at all, those on here who accuse others of ‘not thinking about their kids’ because they are thinking considering Dignitas et al. How on God’s green earth are you thinking about your kids when you are committing them to wiping your ass for as long as you live??
My last area of nursing was palliative care. That’s what we should be concentrating on…building more hospices and providing more palliative care provision in hospitals.