Sudden breakup confused


I was recently with a lady for 6 months with MS and we were going fine in the relationship, she had a rountine monthly hospital appointment beginning of a week then went quite etc and wanting space and saying things like feel like i lost myself and want to be on my own and not ready for a relationship and need to find myself again, didnt say exactly what the hospital said to me but saw her later on in the week we were fine and said give you time and space and then got message saying after having time to myself realise not ready for a relationship , want my own space and happier on on , but everything her being distance and not opening up stems from that appointment . Nearly been 4 weeks since split and havent heard from her she says if want to stay friends then give me time and space as need to find myself etc am just lost as happened out of the blue and all of a sudden, acts as if dont exist the odd couple of times have texted her to ask if she ok etc ??

Hi you need to give her time and space. Whatever happened she isnt ready to share it with you. six months is not long in a relationship.

Just give her time to deal with whatever she is dealing with. This sounds to me as its over, and i think personally you are better off moving on. Just tell her you will always be there if she needs to talk, and hope everything goes ok, and leave it at that.

The old saying goes, like flogging a dead horse.

I dont think its anything you did, she is probably been told something she has to deal with on her own for now.

You seem a lovely caring person so just step back and let her deal with it. Good luck.


Hey , Thanks for the reply.

No i know 6 months isnt long in an relationship but she opened up about ms and was there for her during treatment she had in hospital a few months before this .

I guess just hard when you love them but yes have to give her time and space and respect her wishes, just wish she would tell me exactly what the hospital said but then again she doesn’t have to tell anyone if she doesn’t want too her choice and i know that just frustrating .

Frustating when one minute fine and going well well and super happy to suddely ending it and going distant and cold on me .

She knows and have told her you ever need me and here etc .

All i can do is step back and see what happens never know .

Thanks for listening :slight_smile:

Hi hun i know its hard its because you CARE. I think you never know if you respect her wishes she may come back to you. But for now she is in a place she has to deal with something, OR she is just being cruel to be kind and has no idea how to deal with ending it. Us MSERS hate conflict sadly. I think reading in between the lines you are a lovely kind person and hopefully someone will come along and you will find your soul mate. I did. I had given up but he came along mid forties and we had the best 28 years together. So dont give up on her yet, but just respect her wishes. I know its hard. I feel for you to be honest. x

Yeah care and love her as well ! Yes give her time and space and as you say she may come back to me, I hope so as just don’t understand how someone can’t end it all of a sudden out of the blue . What do you mean cruel to be kind ? I would love to be their for her through whatever is going on health wise but just ignores me at moment as if never met her , hopefully she reply’s back when she’s ready . Is very hard when feel so confused and lost , how emotions can change like a switch and that’s it ? No I won’t give up yet I love her but have no option I guess but to give her time and space and respect her wishes . Thanks :slight_smile:

what i mean is hun she has done it this way quick over with as she didnt want to drag it on. cruel to be kind.

to be honest we see our loved ones with rose coloured glasses and some of us put them on pedestals, but we are all only human.

People can do that just switch off, its happened to me. Its hard but then i decided it was their loss not mine.

Loving someone is painful when it is not reciprocated. But life goes on and i found someone who was my soul mate and true.

I would have thought she would have wanted me to be their and support her though ?

I guess finding it hard to adjust that she’s just switched off and hardly heard from her only befriefly after she dumped me a few days later when she said give me time and space if want to stay friends, just wish she open up to me . Doesn’t help when bday in a week and originally planning to do things then ended it a couple of weeks later after her appointment .

i understand what your saying just struggling and just hope to hear from her at some point

thanks :slight_smile: