I’m struggling. Big time. Symptoms are flaring up, 8 months into a bout of ON, struggling at work, angry all the time, meds just make me want to sleep, as if the normal fatigue isn’t enough. End up shouting at DH and DD all the time. I just want to run away.
I know that wouldn’t solve anything, and although I have the rational part of me being its usual practical and reasonable self, the other side of me is saying sod it, run away, leave everything, hide, hibernation, etc etc.
So my question is, is this depression? Or am I being melodramatic ? I feel so helpless and for a control freak like me, this is so painful.
I have so many good things in my life, family, job, home etc, and I can totally see this, but I also feel so alone, it physically hurts, it is so hard.
Hi, You have already started fixing it by coming on here and acknowledging you are having difficulties. Speak to your doctor or MS nurse if you have one. Also think about ringing the MS helpline. Be kind to yourself if you need to rest then rest. The housework etc will have to wait. Accept any help that is offered. It took me a long time to admit I needed help with certain things as I was the one always in control and organising everyone else. For me the lousy weather, winter evenings etc has made me want to hibernate too so you are not alone, but please see your Doctor if you feel you are depressed. I am sure far more experienced people will be along later to give you advice and support. take care
Hi Carole I can totally empathise. Just before dx I felt the same still do. Getting to the end of a day is hard then it starts all over. They put me to psychiatrist only because they thought my ms wS stress. However the psychiatrist thinks I’m perfectly normal and I discussed the feeling of wanting to run away. I need to give myself a talking to every day and that helps a bit. I have another method of feeling better but won’t discuss this on here. I have a greT family who I am so grAteful for. Me and ex split the week before my first major relapse. My son is 4 and I love movie and cuddles time as I relax and my muscles get a break x
Thank you both for replying. I feel like such a wuss! I think the only time I’ve ever felt like this was when I had the “cry” when my daughter was a few days old. And although I got over that in a few days, so far I’ve been down like this for a while now.
You both sound like you’ve been there, and got through it, what made the biggest difference to you?
Mummykins, I am glad you asked for help on here and I can only repeat and agree with what others have said on the previous posts to you. Asking for help when you normally are the helper is the first sign you are doing the right thing.
good luck and I hope you ae feeling more in control soon.
You are difinitely not a wuss Mummykins! We all need a bit of extra support sometimes, and aknowledging that is the first step in the right direction, as Catherine said.
My MS nurse referred me for specialist counselling, and a lovely lady came round to see me at home several times. It was wonderfully therapeutic to be able to get stuff off my chest (things it’s difficult to talk to others about) and she assessed me for depression at the same time.
I hope you’re able to get the same support where you are, but for now, try to be be kind to yourself hun. Sometimes we’re our own worst critics, and expect far too much from ourselves (especially if we’ve always been very active). We can’t always do as much as we used to when we were well, and have to learn to accept it (to some extent ), as the stress really doesn’t help.
I am 45yrs old and awaiting a lumbar puncture to confirm that I have MS. I had a massive attack in Oct last year. Had MRI and contrast MRI which showed numerous lesions in brain and spinal column with at least 3 active lesions.There is an old lesion between C5 and C8. I had steriods for 3 weeks and am now on Gabapentin 600mg / daily. I still seem to be in relapse and am struggling with head and body tremors and weakness of right side of body. My right leg is either doing the Elvis Presley swivel, giving way from under me or stamps the floor like I’m having a toddler tantrum. At it’s worst I am on able to walk on tiptoe and if I stand still for too long I am unable to walk until the thought of moving actually reaches my foot and then I head off at speed in some strange penguin like gait. My arms are constantly aching too like I have the 'flu. I am resting as much as possible however if I sit for too long I havwe even more trouble standing up and often fall forwards / backwards like a weeble before I spin round in the direction I wanted to go, then I head off involuntarily stamping my right leg as I’m walking.
Does anyone else have / recognise these symptoms?
Just looking for some reassurance that I’m not alone as MS nurse said that these are not typical MS symptoms and neuro is only 80% sure
I can totally relate to this as I had and still do feel like you say. Just like you I’ve so many good things in my life yet for some darn reason for unhappy, angry, terrible moods etc. I have felt like this for sometime and I think rebif is partly to blame but not totally as its not consistent enough for that to be solely to blame. So fed up off feeling like this I went on citalopram on Monday as I just don’t want to feel like this and I want my son who is 4 not to be getting the backlash of these moods. He’s too cute and important for that. I can’t tell you if they have helped yet as its only been five days but I feel positive that I’m trying to help the problem which that in itself has made me feel a little better. It’s obviously up to you whether you go down that route but just wanted to share my story. Xxxx