Sorry is something I say all the time, feeling very low today. I’ve just had steroids intravenously, I don’t react very well after, I am in pain, the whole top half of me, very painful to touch (is this the nerve endings?) they feel like they are on fire!
I do have a loving caring family, but they have no idea. None of them will think, mum’s not feeling good today, I’ll get blah blah out for dinner…no, they wait till 5pm and asked, right what shall we do for dinner (I don’t care!) Or wow, the washing is piling up, I’ll put some on. I don’t ask them for anything either, as I hate to feel a burden. So I take myself to bed. This morning hubby says, how are you? I say, in alot of pain, he says I wasn’t being funny, was just asking!!! So I say, sorry, I’m not sure what you mean, you asked, I told you. Now he’s gone to work with the hump, and I’m left feeling shit, is it me??? So in pain, got the wash on, preparing something to go in slow cooker (crying because I really hurt inside and out) The house is happy when they think I’m ok, otherwise it seems to fall apart, so I soldier on, this is what brings my attacks on, I’m sure, always pushing myself to make others feel better. It’s exhausting. Then I worry sick over the future, what happens if and when it gets worse. I feel so isolated
Sorry for going on, feel a little better writing it down x