Forum

Feeling useless

Hi, hope everyone is well as can be. I am relapsing again, also had an allergic reaction to pregabalin which knocked me sideways, so been a long week. It’s such a lovely day today and it should be lifting my spirits but I feel so miserable. Husband wanted to go out today and make the most of the sunshine with the kids. I would love to do this bit simply don’t have the energy for lots of walking, my joints hurt all the time, legs turn to jelly if I walk for too long. I suggested he went out while I stayed behind, he refused as this is his only day off and we haven’t seen each other much this week. He seemed put out and the kids are desperate to have some fun. He is now playing with the kids in the garden while I watch, wishing I could join in. Feel like I’m holding everyone back, seems they would be better off without me. I know thats a fairly drastic statement but its how I’m feeling. Don’t know how to make it better? X

I have no idea why this posted twice? Can’t even get this right! Erica x

Oh Erica,

We all have days like this, you are not useless and don’t ever feel that way. Your family need you even if you sometimes can’t do the things they would like to do. They most certainly would not be better off without their mum or wife. You are not alone in feeling like this but remember you are very special to them and although they wanted to go out they stayed at home to be with YOU. Hope you feel better soon. Sending (((((HUGS)))))

Janet

x

I think its the sunshine, i woke up and wanted to go out and enjoy the day. But my MS had other ideas for me, i was down but you have to get on with it.Moved a chair into the sunshine put some music on and drifted away. Now feel happier

hello hun.

It may not be what you want to hear, but instead of missing out on a lovely family outing, why not try a manual wheelchair?

You can now get them quite cheaply.ie if you look on ebay.

None of us want to use a wheelie, but it`s better than being full of regret, eh?

luv Pollx

Hi, Really know this feeling it’s horrible. I really objected to the concept of wheels but now I find it gives me so much more independence and means I can join in more. Give it a try

Yeh, exactly!

luv Pollx

Try to enjoy life as much as possible there are days that you feel low but hey ho. As I am told get over it

Go gogo would not be without mine

Awww. I know exactly how you feel. I think it is the subshine that makes it worse. The family don’t mind staying in when the weather is awful which makes it worse.

If you force yourself to do things then you will be out for the count for about a week which wouldn’t help your kids or your hubby and I bet they would be cross with you for forcing yourself and say “why didn;t you say, we could have stayed home”, which is what I get a lot. Try and smile through it. They will understand and they wouldn’t be better of without you!

Take care and stop worrying.

Shazzie xx

Thanks for all your replies. I know on probably just feeling sorry for myself. It’s still very new and just feel like I’m letting everyone down. I know I’m not really as its out of my control, logic and feelings don’t seem to work well together! Not normally so unable, just this relapse (hopefully). If things don’t improve soon, will think about a chair for future relapses. Thanks for taking the time to reply, your very kind. Erica x

hi my name is jo and i was told i had ms 2 years ago but only just really hit me i know sounds silly but i just tried pushing it to the back of my mind but effecting me alot more now and am struggling alot its making me feel very low and am not coping at all so i decided to join the ms society to get some help and speak to other people in the same boat i hope this will help me come to terms with my ms and hopefully support others x

Hi Jo,

Welcome to the forum, sorry to hear of your diagnosis and that your finding things hard to cope with.

This forum has lots of kind people who will understand what your feeling and try to answer any questions you have, or be a sympathetic ear when you need a good rant! Also i find looking through older posts answers lots of questions i have.

Might be best to start a new thread to introduce yourself as not everyone will see your post on this thread.

Hope that helps

Laura x

Join the club - we all can find times, when life seems pointless and hopeless but we get knocked down then climb up again…tomorrows another day…

I think the key is compromise. Your husband has to accept that you aren’t up for a lengthy walk but in order to not have him and the kids feeling deprived, you could both agree a plan which means you both get what you want.

I think in the situation outlined above, I’d go to the park and sit with my husband watching the kids play. I’d bring a book so that if him and the kids wanted a kickabout with the football or to take a walk, I could sit in the sunshine and let them off without feeling like I’m holding them back.

I’d imagine it must be frustrating for someone who is active to have to hold back on activities but also, it’s hard for someone who can’t be active anymore to deal with feeling that way. I think it’s just about finding new ways to do things.