Forum

Selfish???

Anyone in the family with a problem comes to me and I help, be it moral support or money or whatever.  

But why has no one supported me - m.s. for 20 + years - yet no one apparently gives a 'flying f' about me.

 

 

Dare I say, perhaps familiarity breeds contempt?  I don't mean contempt of you personally, but given that you've been ill for over 20 years, perhaps this is by now seen as a "normal" part of who you are, and not as a problem you need help with?

I think a problem you ALWAYS have sometimes becomes invisible, if that makes sense?

Tina

Hi

It stopped the day I was DX. The realisation I wold not get better and my wife and I cold not contribute to the care of elderly parents.
What do you say!!
Mikr

Unfortunately if you appear strong, and particularly if you look well, people will take no notice of you. I get people telling me their troubles all the time, but rarely does anyone ask how I am.I look the same as last time they saw me, so why should I need any help or moral support? Am lucky in a way to have no family now, but when I did, they seemed to take my illness as a personal insult. My carers tell me all their troubles, and these days I take it as a compliment that they feel they can confide in me. At least it's a bit of company. I haven't been on here long, but I'm sure everyone here cares about you. Try telling us your story. We shan't be wanting anything from you!

I am the oldest and also helped my late mum bring up my two youngest siblings maybe because of this if anyone has an issue they come to me, also they don't take into consideration that I am not as fit as I once was. At my aunt's funeral  my other aunt handed me flowers from the tables to put on my mum's grave, no mention of asking brother who also had a car, i think if you are known to be capable in the past ,people especially family that no longer live with you dont see that it may be silly to keep leaning on you. Even when you point it out to them

Hi,

I know exactly how you feel.....I'm not dx yet ...but have lots of symptoms.... I was talking to my son (21) who is home from Uni for a while about my problems and symptoms...and my daughter (14) piped up...'maybe if you stop talking about all of your symptoms and stuff then it might not cause you so many problems..you won't be thinking about them',.

The thing is because I look ok, people think I feel ok...how wrong can they be?!

I tend not to say too much about myself now...I know how I feel (usually crap)...and I know my limits. People just don't understand and the thing is its just so hard to describe to people how you feel.

Try not to worry too much...you're not the only one feeling like this.

Take care,

Wendyx