Just managed to see hubby off to his archery since my symptoms have got worse he has often called off going “it might rain” " it rained a lot last night the course will be slippy" it seemed that he was looking for an excuse. A year ago our 30 year old daughter had to move back home and she went to archery too but not so much lately due to a shoulder injury. But I enjoy my Saturday mornings on my own it’s my time for not having to be upbeat or putting a face on. If I want to have a cry I can and not feel guilty or have to see Rob get upset. If I want to lie down I can without feeling I should be doing something else. If I want to try to do something I don’t feel as though Rob is watching in case I fail don’t get me wrong I love him to bits but he has become very protective and I suppose that is his way of coping with me being in Limbo. He has watched me getting worse and not be able to do things I could last year and he is unable to help. As for me I am tired of trying to keep going and pretending that my life is normal and that I am okay with how things are because I am not. I am having counselling but I think other people need it more than me for example there is an old man who lives locally who when ever he sees me walking with my 2 crutches stands and STARES and STARES and I am so tempted to either ask what his problems is or tell him to go forth and multiply.
This mornings plan was bake 2 cakes for a community centre fund raiser ( I am on committee have tried to resign because feel I am useless but Chairwoman refused she thinks it will do me good to stay ) First cake managed to cock-up recipe I have made for years and second was meant to be tray bake but one of the cats has gone to sleep in the tin I have just lined ready so I will have to do that again. Going to put my eye op to the test have to turn up some trousers haven’t been able to sew for 8 months so here’s hoping I can thread the needle took me nearly an hour last time I tried what with my crap sight and poor co-ordination I provided entertainment for my family but I managed it in the end then sewed the material to my finger as I can’t feel them so here goes I got a packet of elastaplasts standing by.
Sorry for the rant it’s and and how I am feeling today I’ll go and get a cup of tea and go and sit in the sunsine and pull my self together be fine later Sue