How many of us if we were totally honest are obsessed with our m.s. - think of nothing else - talk about it all the time - obsessed with various hospital appointments - assessments.
How many of us expect those nearest to us to accommodate our needs if we go out?
How many of us never really consider that others around us may need support?
How many of us have total control over things?
How many of us think that having a crap disease mean that we have to have our own way over most things because if we’re ‘unhappy’ it makes others feel bad.?
I don’t think it would be fair to suggest that loads of us (or other people with MS, or other disabling conditions) are obsessed with ourselves and our own needs.
Some people I’m sure are selfish and require their MS and associated needs to be discussed, nurtured and considered at every moment. But most of us probably do look after our other family members without much complaint. Some are parents, some have partners with different problems that require a lot of consideration. Others care for their elderly relatives.
Even people like me, with no children, and a relatively healthy OH consider my friends problems and concerns as much as my own.
It’s more likely that selfish people get a diagnosis of MS and continue being selfish. The disease or even serious disability doesn’t make a person selfish.
Having said that, of course many of us have particular physical needs that we need to ensure are catered for, such as ‘does the venue we’re going to have a disabled loo / access?’ (Along with other considerations.) I’m lucky that many of my friends do think about me when I’m not with them, they’ll look about a city and note whether it’s accessible and the availability of loos etc. But I don’t require it of them.
well said Sue, i have noticed that people with ms or any other illness are human and are flawed. how very observant of me! yes some are selfish but others are generous with other humans. i think we should refer to all people as humans. i was chatting to someone who turned out to be very homophobic. i pointed out that we are all of the same place of origin and the same species (planet earth and humanity). only gave the fella 5 minutes of my time and i hope i gave him food for thought. my favourite T-shirt says BE A NICE HUMAN. i think that says it all. Krakowian, i know that i can be selfish within my immediate family but so can they. so in summary, let’s all be nice humans.
I understand what your saying, as I have been on the other foot with close family who have long term illness use that as an excuse to not see me or help me.
I am not selfish. when i sold my house i gave both daughters money so that they could have better lives.
My daughter is taking me to neuro today and i am PAYING HER.
I rarely see them. my younger one who is 44 comes some sundays for her lunch i never go to her house.
I think the younger generation are the selfish ones. they ring me moaning their car is broken down can I help, or can i lend them money or i ask them a favour to do some weeding and i have to pay them.
I rarely see them.
No i think having MS actually has made me realise just how easy it is to need help but i never rely on my family i usually hire someone to do it for me. My daughter comes 3 hours and she charges me her going rates.
I wouldn’t dream of charging my mum, to take her to the hospital or doctors. I live with her and I take it as part of the duties of living with her there would be a taxi there and back which costs a lot, no way.