Forum

Sad :(

Feeling very sad at the moment. It’s been 2 years since my dear husband died after a long struggle with PPMS, I lost two of my lovely cats last year from antifreeze poisoning and 3 days ago my closest friend died whilst on holiday in Spain with her daughter. We went out every Tuesday for lunch and although she had heart problems, this really wasn’t expected. Because of the many years spent caring for my husband pretty much 24/7 my group of friends wasn’t very big, and since his passing my weekly lunch date with my friend was very special to me. I feel lost.

I think the answer will be to find some voluntary work to do to to fill my days.

Sorry to put this on your site, but you’re such a lovely supportive group of people and I often visit here. Old habits die hard I guess!

Wishing you all the best

x

Hi Juneb

My condolences hun, for all your losses, human and feline. And lots of hugs. We are a very good site for dispencing of hugs so never say sorry for looking for a few.

Take care

JBK xxx

june

just wanted to say that my thoughts r with u-cant begin to imagine the position u r in.

ellie x

Oh Juneb

That is very very sad. I can understand how you feel so lost losing so many special people and cat friends in your life. My condolences too.

Like JBK says there are always lots of hugs available on here so shout whenever you need one andI am sure there will be lots of us who will send you loads.

((((hugs))))

Shazzie xx

Sorry, to read all that has happened to you, life can be so hard. Aside to not being well I have just gone through one nightmare after another. Our daugther has been involved in a car accident and was fotunate to survive. Our son well I won’t go there. It all takes a toll and it can be hard to get back on track. Howver, look to the little things, out of the blue today I heard my son singing and it put a smile back on my face, I actually cried not that I have told him that. Yes, looking forward volunteering would be a good idea. Another option, which is what a friend of ours did after sadly she lost her husband, was to sign up for an art course. May be you could think of what you are interested in and look for a part time course. It would give you the opportunity to meet new people. Take care Lou x

hi june

(((((hugs)))))

how awful for you, i bet you feel like you’ve been punched to the ground, managed to get up and then get punched again.

my dearest ever friend died in 2012. i think about her sometimes and then she feels close. i talk to her and ask for advice!

there are always hugs available here

((((((((((june)))))))))))))

carole x

Hi juneb,

never apologise for being on this site and needing hugs, we all do and it makes us stronger to cope with whatever life decides to throw at us!

You’ve not had time to grieve for any of your losses before the next one has occcured. Is there anyone you could talk to maybe your gp?

I have made the mistake in the past of burying my grief and thinking that I’ve dealt with it. Three months later it all came flooding it out and I had a melt down.

You need to focus on you now and find what works in helping you to cope with all this and move forward. it’s easier said than done I know, but you can always come and talk to the lovely people on this forum. All the hugability and positiveness will help you.

Freckles xxx

((((((((((HUGSHUGS))))))))))

There is no wonder you are feeling sad June. ((((hugs))))

I think Loulou has a great idea by joining a group of some kind so you can mix with more people and make some new friends.

It’s important to get out and try to mix with people so you do not become depressed.

Have you got any nice neighbours who you could chat to or share a coffee with?

Volunteer work would be great also where you can meet new people.

Are you on facebook? perhaps you could catch up with old friends also that you have lost touch with.

Have you thought about getting another pet to love?

Take care and best wishes

Teresa.xxx

Thanks for all your lovely comments - it’s helped just to ‘speak’ about it all. I’ll take on board all of your suggestions, and I’ve also got loads of things that need to be done indoors. Although I’ve got plenty of time, the enthusiasm isn’t there at the moment. Also money is tight as I now only have my state pension, so it’s too easy to put everything off to another day.

I now have 4 cats again - 2 adults and 2 sweet 9 week old brothers, so they are great. I have 3 children who are wonderful people, but they all have their own busy lives to lead. Maybe the better weather coming (hopefully) will give me a kick start - just need to get past my friend’s funeral then I’ll hopefully be more positive.

Thanks to you all again

June x

Oh June You’ve had such a lot of sadness to deal with in a short time, no wonder you are feeling a bit down. I do hope that life treats you more kindly for a while. You’ve already had some excellent suggestions. I wonder if there is a Red Hat group near you? They are a women’s society inspired by the poem “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat …”. I think they are a little more young at heart than the WI and they organise regular coffee mornings and outings. It might be worth looking into? Take care <

I’ve just re-read my post and feel so guilty now at posting it, as I know what day to day struggles this horrid illness can throw at you all. I have my health and really am so thankful for that. So, I’m determind to snap out of it, take up some of your suggestions and today I’m getting out in this lovely sunshine to tidy the garden

Love and thanks to you all

June x

Don’t feel guilty for coming on here June. It’s good to ‘talk’ about things and get things out in the open.

MS has had a devastating impact on your life and people here understand.

Take care of yourself and try not to hide away at home by yourself.

It will take a lot to motivate yourself - but you can do it! - one step at a time.

Teresa.xxx

You have so much to offer -June - Have you thought of volunteering at your local Cat Rescue. You would meet some like-minded friends. There must be lots of other organisations who are crying out for a caring person like you. AGE-UK have people working for them who go and spend time with people who are house-bound because of illness. lt give their carer’s a couple of hours respite.

And its not always elderly people who need the companionship.

Do hope your life changes for the better. Soon.

Dear June, no, you mustn`t apologise for your post.

You are at a low ebb and need to reach out, so here we all are, reaching back to support you.

It is so sad how you have lost so many people and pets.

It will take time to feel anything like better, so be good to yourself.

I hope you find something else to fill your time hun.

luv Pollx

Gosh, ditto so much of what’s been said already, this is exactly why we all need this forum.

hugs

June, that’s a massive loss for you hun, it’s difficut to say goodbye to something that is part of your weekly routine but saying goodbye to friends (people or pets) is even harder!

June, I hope you feel the genuine welcome you have here

Sonia x

June PLEASE don,t feel guilty for coming on and posting…I am sure you would have helped/hugged/advised others many times when caring for your hubby and using the site so you know how genuine people are here.

You have had a really sad time over the past 2 yrs and I am sure you deserve some hugs and understanding.

As for motivation, it is hard to get started and I hope you find that after your friends funeral and with better weather hopefully on the way you will have better days.

Take it one day at a time and do something you enjoy whenever you can.

Good Luck, hope you keep posting.

Elljay

Sending you lots of love and big hugs. Voluntary work would help you focus, get you out and give you a much needed boost. Go for it. You must start living again rather than merely existing. Good luck!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

so sorry for your loss,i know how you feel,as i lost my husband in 1996, 4 years after i was diagnosed with the MS,he had heart disease,and was 45,life is so unfair at times.if it helps you to come on here,then come on here you will be very welcome.

J x

Just wanted to thank you all for your positive replies and advice. I was feeling quite a bit better, and went to visit my son and his family in Norfolk for a few days. The lovely weather, being by the seaside and seeing my 6 month old granddaughter’s lovely smile gave me a real lift.

Then today it went downhill again! Had a phone call from home to say that ANOTHER of my cats is in the vets with antifreeze poisoning . So I rushed back from Norfolk and have visited my very poorly cat. Tomorrow, another blood test will determine if the antedote is working. If not, then I will sadly have to say yet another goodbye. It seem that so many of the people and pets that I love dearly have left me.

Thanks for listening again

June x

Devastated - just had to say goodbye to my dear cat as his kidneys were failing and everything shutting down. I can’t believe I’ve had this three times in six months. I’m sure somebody nearby is putting it down, knowing that it’s fatal if cats drink it. Wish I could find out who it is. So upset :frowning: