I’ve just been to Sainsbury’s. I don’t do a lot of cooking, so, as usual, had filled my basket with a lot of convenience foods.
I’m not used to having my selection held up to comment and criticism when I reach the till - apart from the occasional: “Oooh, that looks yummy! Are they nice?”
So I was pretty peed off to be greeted by: “Oh, having a lazy few days, are we?”
I retorted that I don’t do much cooking (I’m sure I can’t be unusual in this, as lots of people on their own don’t, as it’s hardly worth all the trouble and washing up).
But she still carried on with the “laziness” theme, until I said: “Well actually, I haven’t been very well, OK?” Not wishing to get into details, I didn’t let on that I still AM unwell. So then she assumed I meant I’d had a cough, or something else trivial, and started going on for five minutes about her own cough, and how it “really takes it out of you”.
Came out of the shop fuming, and wondering if I should have reported it. It’s not for her to pass judgment on what customers buy, and it still pays her wages, whatever they buy. Not everyone who buys convenience foods is “lazy”. Maybe they’re just not that into cooking, or maybe, just maybe, they’re not well!
What’s it to do with her anyway? Been shopping many years, but never before had this.
let it go-she wont be giving it a second thought-so u shouldnt give it head room,save that for important stuff …
would u have her in at urs for a cuppa? i doubt it! my friend once told me-dont let those in ur head that u wouldnt let in ur house! wise words…
Yeah, you’re right Ellie, it’s not worth it!
I was gobsmacked, though. I’ve never heard till staff accuse a customer to their face of being lazy before.
I guess just not in a good mood today. Someone I let myself get a bit sweet on is going out with someone else. I know I’m being completely unreasonable about it, because he never really gave any indication he wanted to be with me, and it was all totally far-fetched and impractical anyway, but somehow I’d let myself hope.
And now I get home and find I forgot half the shopping anyway. Apparently, I won’t be needing bread this week, according to what I’ve bought.
Ellie`s reply is very good…one to remember!
Yes, you could report her and when my sis worked at Sainsbury
s, she was as nice as could be, but some difficult
customers reported her and she had to apologise. So if you do complain, Im sure the woman in question will get a dressing down.
I doubt she really meant to offend you, but even so, she shouldnt have gone on about your shopping and her cough.
Avoid her till next time, eh? Our precious energy isnt worth the hassle, eh?
that reminds of an exchange between mum and check out girl years ago…
the girl was totally uninterested in job,my mum politely enquired why didnt she get a job that she liked? the girl did blush and apologised!
Yeah, I usually have a different lady, on the “baskets only” lane - but she wasn’t there today.
I know that one understands about “invisible disabilities”, because she was painstakingly explaining to another shopper that some customers (not me, in this case) can’t carry a basket, but IF they go through the “baskets only” lane with a trolley that contains no more than could be fitted in a basket, then that’s OK.
I was in Sainsburys last year, in the self checkout area with room for trolleys and lots of shopping bags - not the bit where there isn’t any room for even little trolleys. Not that it stops me. I always use a trolley because I use a stick and also have arm/elbow pain. Even when I have two items because just holding a blinkin’ basket causes me pain!
Anyway me, and someone at a till had trolleys and the queue was long. It’s Sainsburys, so it tends to be understaffed! A grumpy man behind me said ‘they (trolleys) shouldn’t be allowed in this isle’. I was just itching for him to make a comment to me directly!
I wanted to say ‘I’m disabled and can’t use a basket. Are you going to volunteer to carry my basket for me, or just let me take the 2 items in my trolley through the checkout?’ Sometimes I can keep myself amused for ages working out what amusing comment I’d make! Sometimes I have to clamp my mouth shut in case I’m too rude…
I second what Ellie said. People really don’t care enough so I doubt the person was trying to be rude or trying to take the mickey.
Now, (sorry to hijack thread!) I have not been well at all and needed to go to the shops, for food. A little 'un about five was in front of me literally bouncing off the walls and nearly off me. Mum repeatedly half heartedly told the little 'un, be careful of the person, be careful of the person.
You guessed it. The little 'un jumped into me, me and crutches went flying into another disabled person in a wheelchair who was behind me in the queue. As I saw the inevitable happening in slow motion I exclaimed, be careful I am wobbly.
You guessed it, ,I was the bad guy, the little 'un screwed up its face, lip quivering and began shrieking. Mum glared, comforted her and I felt the bad guy.
All Mum had to do was make her child behave. Nothing would have happened. Happy to report both disabled folks were ok.
I guess what I would say is let it go. Dont waste energy on things you cannot control. And avoid queues with little 'uns hopped up on E numbers and sugar!
Nor I! When I was recovering from my worst relapse, Dad and I were trying to shop in our local Sainsbury’s. We made a right pair as he has severe arthritis and I could just about manage a couple of aisles but very slowly. A child was charging around with no sign of his parents about so I said quite loudly “I didn’t realise it was a playground in here. If he knocks either of us over, his parents had better be around to pick us up and make sure nothing is broken!”. My dad always keeps his head down as he hates to make a fuss but suddenly the child’s mother appeared, plonked him on a seat near the checkouts and told him to behave! Result!
Like you I shall continue my zero tolerance approach. My son was never allowed to behave like that and I am far more aware of the dangers of such behaviour now that I have my wobbly days.
good job that wasnt me, i would have just told her where to shove her comments then after that left and complained about her, i don’t have much of a tolerance level for idiots like that
Oh, I was reading this post with total sympathy at first, but I’m afraid it’s upset me somewhat now You see, I have seen this from both sides…I am dx’d and although I’m usually ok, I do have my wobbly/bad days. BUT, I also have two young children (3 and 5). Now I do my best to keep them out of the shops when they’re having a bad day (and anyone who has had children will know, no matter how angelic they are usually, there will always be bad moments/days), but sometimes I have no choice. As for the early posts, I am horrified by some of the comments and promise that if my children ever knocked into anyone (wheelchair/walking aid user or completely able bodied), they would be reprimanded and told to apologise…I would also be apologising on their behalf! Anything less than that is, in my opinion, bad parenting if the child has done wrong. However, calling a small child a brat and blaming parents for every bad bit of behaviour makes me very sad. Toddlers are notoriously fiesty and can need very careful handling…and let’s face it, how do you know that that poor child hasn’t got a behavioural issue or an ill parent? I really am not trying to upset anyone, believe me, I have every sympathy if the child is not being correctly supervised, but sometimes even the greatest parent in the world will have ‘one of those days’. I would certainly not appreciate anyone reprimanding or shouting at my child - shout at me, fine, but not at my child! (And god help anyone who laid a finger on a child of mine!!!) And to be even more controversial…pidgeons are vermin and carry nasty diseases, so really shouldn’t be encouraged with extra food (sorry). A child running after any bird is not being bratty…it’s jut something they do. Like splashing in puddles and getting muddy! I promise I’m not trying to upset anyone and thought long and hard before posting this, but I know you’re all using this thread to vent and have a moan about things that upset you, so felt it was only fair if I could do the same. X
[quote=“Pat”] No pigeons are not vermin, they are God’s creatures. Disturbing other peoples activities is not something children should be allowed to do. Being cruel to animals and disrespect for animals and people should be bred into the child and not encouraged. [/quote] So if a pigeon is God’s creature, what exactly is a child? Shouting at a small child enough to make them scared and cry makes you as bad as (if not worse than) the so called ‘brat’. The child is still learning - they are not born knowing the ‘rules’, but you are old enough to know better. Just my opinion though, I’m sure you’ll argue with me! (And again, I’m not trying to upset anyone, I’m just putting forward another side of the argument). Shouting at children rarely works anyway - discipline by setting good examples, removing toys and privileges works best in my opinion. No matter what my child did, if some random stranger shouted at them and made them cry, I would lose all respect for that person and I’m not surprised that the mother reacted in the way she did. Hardly setting a good example was it? I would never claim to be a perfect parent (anyone who does is lying!), but my children have been raised to know right from wrong, but a child of toddler age will always test the boundaries - it’s how they work - in the same way that a pigeon will poop and scrounge food. It’s what they do!
Well, certainly wasn’t my intention to start a quarrel with this post, but the routine shopping trip can be a stressful and even hazardous thing with MS, so I’m not surprised others have contributed things that wind them up.
I seem to shop mainly at times that aren’t popular for mums with kids, so maybe that explains why I haven’t encountered that particular problem to any great degree.
I think I was upset about something else on the day, anyway, so pretty low morale. Then to reach the till loaded down like a packhorse, after the most ambitiously energetic thing you’ve attempted all week (the grocery shop!), to be accused of being LAZY!
Definitely not something I appreciate, when I feel I’ve just done the equivalent of a marathon - and have yet to get home with it all, on the bus.
Let’s throw something else in the mix…even allowing for toddlers tantrums which ALL, yes all children have, my friend has two children who are both autistic and one, particularly badly, which manifests itself in behavioural problems. What should she do ? Keep them inside, locked away from the world, for fearing of upsetting anyone or meeting with their disapproval ? I think not. That’s a return to the institutional mentality of the Dickensian times. Tolerance is a gift that we are given, whether we chose to use it or throw it away is our choice. As a grown up adult I choose to practice it.
Tina, I assure you I have every sympathy for your situation and pretty much all the things that the early posters have said! And I don’t want to argue…I just strongly felt that some of the later comments were extreme and they upset me. Rude staff in shops make me angry, as do shops which fill the aisles so tightly it would be impossible for a wheelchair user to get through (in the past this has made me angry because I had a buggy - not a monstrous sized one as I went for an inline one when mine were both small)! And Pat obviously had a bad experience with a child but I just felt that screaming at a small child didn’t really solve anything - maybe made her feel better, but (in my opinion) it was too much. If it had been an older child or teenager who should know better, then fair enough! But small children…? Really hope I haven’t offended anyone (and Pat, I’m only giving you my opinion and you’re entirely entitled to your own…I’ll just agree to disagree!!) X
MrsH…crossed with you there! Good points…my eldest goes to school with a boy who had autism, his older brother has it too. He’s in a mainstream school and is relatively ok, but has a full time carer and does get ‘flappy’ as his mum calls it. Very occasionally he will bite or hit another child. Some children need extra care and attention and imagine if this child had been the one chasing the pigeons. Upsetting him in such a way could have caused some major difficulties. X
Don’t we all have enough to contend with ? Is there really a need to criticise each other too? We are all entitled to our opinions, our illnesses affect us all differently and even the most saintly among us can get crabby sometimes. My opinion is …without wishing to upset anyone , of course,(!!!) is that if we do want to disagree with some one we should at least have the grace to do it openly …surely anon is for the things we find embarrassing and awkward to discuss Regards ng
I’m not posting anon am I? It’s showing up with my name on my screen…
Ahhhh…just realised it doesn’t say anonymous, but