rubbish year

Everyday living
1

Hi all,

Hope you are well?

Firstly I’m sorry for writing this but I just want to vent a bit.

My name is Paul and to say this year has been a bit rough would be an understatement.

So I was my disabled mother’s carer for 6 years after my father passed away and at the start of the year, I had taken my mum a bottle of water while I cooked her dinner and when I went back with her dinner I found her dead. I was more than devastated, we lived in what was a housing association home which was our family home for 40 years.

So with my MS I was told I had to move and I had 2 weeks to get 40 years of memories packed up and move from a 3 bed home to a 1 bed flat in a different town to where I was born I have no friends or family local but my partner has a car so that helped.

In April my partners mum passed away suddenly so I found it hard to support him because it was all a bit raw for me but we muddled through.

I have found the whole year a bit hard and subsequently slipped into a deep depression. I have had to get rid of some of my happiest memories. I’m starting to get a bit better but have had a few relapses in the last few months which has kept me indoors. I would dearly like to take my partner on a short break so if anyone has any ideas that don’t cost a lot as I’m a bit skint at the moment I would welcome any input?

Sorry, but I had to get that off my chest!

I realise that I am a bit of a moan but I am trying.

Thank you for taking the time to read this in advance… Paul

2

Hi Paul. I can’t help you with holidays unless you fancy camping because that’s what my partner and I do… we actually sleep in the back of our van with a pod on the side for sitting and cooking.

Please don’t apologise for moaning, we all need a good moan and you have had a lot of changes to come to terms with this year. I’m glad your depression is getting a bit better and hopefully that will continue. You and your partner have both had loss this year and are both grieving so be kind to yourselves, maybe a weekend away could be helpful for you both to recharge. I don’t know how your ms affects you so I can’t really recommend anything but I just wanted to answer your post. Karen.

1 Like
3

Hi Paul,

Sounds like you’ve had a seriously rubbish year, and don’t apologise…I love a vent, and it definitely sounds like you need one babe.

As for short breaks, how about something in this country, rent a little cottage or a caravan somewhere for a few days?

Doesn’t have to cost alot :slight_smile:

Sorry for your rubbish year, and hope you have a better 2019 :slight_smile:

Laura x

1 Like
4

Sorry guys reading back my posts it looks like im begging for a holiday im so sorry if it looked like that it wasn’t ment to be like that.

5

Paul, I didn’t read it like that, I read it like someone unloading their angst.

I find that once worries are written down it helps me to stop turning them over and over in my head.

Hope things lighten up a bit soon.

Ben

3 Likes
6

Hi paul what a horrible year for you, no wonder you are feeling down. did you have to move out of the place? didnt you have secure tenure? or was it all in your mums name?

It is hard. I have just moved from a 3 bed house i shared with my beloved husband for nearly 30 years and moved into sheltered. I must say i should have worked in sardine factory as i seem to have managed to squeeze in all my pictures and paintings, and nick nacks lol…lots of walls with shelves. Even have hubby by my bed on a little table so he can keep an eye over me at night lol.

It must have been a shock for your partner too to loose a parent suddenly.

You know lots of places freecycle and gum tree, people are selling camping equipment, or you could even hire a mobile van cant think what they are called and just go off and see some of the country, or there are canal holidays. at the moment a lot of people are offering really cheap holiday accommodation as it is out of season. a change will do you both good.

You dont have to go far either, just a change is sometimes a good thing.

I realised that my memories were not in my house they are in my heart and my head, the house was just a habit something i was used too, i dont even miss it now. I am surrounded by the same love i had before i lost my mum, and my husband as my heart is full of it.

try and concentrate now on your getting better. You might benefit from a bit of counselling, as obviously loosing 2 parents was hard, and i have the feeling you were very close to your mother.

have a look on freecycles, and other places people are always giving away things, and maybe ask on facebook anyone rent a caravan. good luck and i hope you find something really cool to enjoy.

One of my favorite holidays with hubby was BUTLINS lol, an hours drive from us, we had a log cabin on the lake took the dog, and spent days just fishing, bliss.

3 Likes
7

Hi Paul, sorry you’ve had such a rubbish year, you seem to be reaching out and trying to make plans so maybe you are turning a corner.

Have you considered a coach holiday? Shearings or National holidays are quite cheap, they’re not the best of holidays but its a break and relatively cheap.

best wishes

Jan x

1 Like
8

hiya

what alot to cope with and u HAVE coped and will continue to do so.

a caravan holiday? couple of days with friends BUT they are at work/elsewhere so u have daytime to yourselves?

enjoy whatever you do!

ellie

2 Likes
9

Dunno about you but camping for someone with MS is a bit of a stretch. And in this weather??? May I ask if you needs special facilities ie wetroom, access for wheelchair. And what about partner? What are your interests?

Some maybe usefull links: Cheap UK Holidays 2022 | Cheap UK Holidays in the UK | Parkdean Resorts

or try Airbnb. Sometimes excellent digs for not too much. Depends entirely on the sort of stuff you like to do.

1 Like
10

Tough old year but hopefully as the snowdrops and daffodils start to appear things will brighten up - God i hate the winter and the blues that go along with it - good luck and hope you get a break

2 Likes