I was just wondering if there is anybody else who feels inadequate and like anybody who gets with you will just get bored or fed up with your illness limitations etc? And leave you or cheat?
Have to be honest, since I was diagnosed, I haven’t had any luck with relationships. When I was first diagnosed my partner couldn’t cope with it and left me. Since then it seems as though each person I have dated couldn’t cope with the idea and when I have bad days with my ms they just don’t get that you can’t jump through hoops and do everything. Sometimes you just need to rest. Amazing how no matter how much you explain what ms is and means some people just don’t get it.
It isn’t that you have bad days all the time. It would just be nice to find someone who had a little understanding and cared.
i’m sure that there is someone out there who will be loving and considerate.
it’s the being considerate that is key to understanding your ms.
it will be fairly difficult to find him but treat it all as a learning experience.
Hi Nic83 & Madhatter, I’m more or less in the same boat, my partner is so ignorant to WHY sometimes I just cannot, not don’t want to, do the things we used to. I’ve been diagnosed a year now but prior to this he would go on about how I’ve lost interest in him because all I wanted to do was stay in, go to work and sleep. I was nieve enough to believe he would listen to me more that I wasn’t just making excuses not to be seen out with him. Well he called me a lazy selfish cow before leaving this weekend, I just laughed and said you’ve proved just how ignorant you are. For years I’ve put everyone else’s needs including his before my own I can’t physically or emotionally do that to the same degree these days and he’s acting like a neglected child, I just havent got the energy anymore to chase and convince that my love is true and that all will be o.k so frankly for me the relationship makes my symptoms worst. I’d rather be on my own than live with someone who drains me.
Wish I could give you the name of the shop that sells unselfish people who can have a life when you just need to rest.
Hi nic, madhatter & PP,
Totally agree with all 3 of you.
Like Pauline, I would rather be on my own than be with someone who has no idea and doesn’t want to know what it is I’m going through and that I’m all right because I don’t look ill.
I wish sometimes they had a temporary injection they could give to people with just some of the symptoms we have to endure, I’m sure they soon change their outlook.
Nic, I had the cheating thing long before I was ill and dx, think this is just me!!
Have to admit I always used to try and see the best in people. I still do in most things. I just would never have believed people could be so selfish when they make out they care about you. Think they should put a clause into things they say. They should just say “I care about you, as long as you don’t expect me to do anything for you”. Amazing how much they can act like petulant children when they don’t get everything the easy way.
It’s true what they say, you should be forced to walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you can criticise them. Give all those selfish people out there a day of ms symptoms and see how they would cope. For most of us it can take years to adapt our lives and figure out the best and easiest way to deal with things so that they don’t affect our lives as much.
MS sufferers are some of the strongest people I know and we should be proud of what we are able to deal with on a daily basis!
And so say all of ‘us’
P.s. - thats to everything you said. C
There should be a dating agency for people with chronic illness. Neither my partner or I have been diagnosed yet, but are both experiencing the same symptoms that indicate MS. He has been ill for 20 years, but it wasn’t until I got ill that he considered MS (now to persuade him to go to the doctors!)
We both struggle for energy and cognitive functions and because we can poke fun at each other and also understand each other it makes it a very loving relationship…