I hadn’t slept when i wrote this and thanks for the replys,We are awaiting help and support i just get a bit depressed sometimes.I had a really difficult childhood and i feel like a vulnerable child sometimes the way MS makes me feel.There is things that must be addressed but hes not a bad man and i havent been a saint eaither but that said it cant carry on as it is. Xx

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I am so sorry you are going through this whatever the underlying cause this is totally unacceptable I at best and life threatening at worst! Can you leave? Easier said than done but it sounds like his behaviour is escalating. You need to be safe and he needs to seek help for what’s causing this. He can’t change with you being there and he may never change but you have to put yourself first. A fresh start for you no matter how tough, ultimately will be the right thing for you and your health x

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Hi Lonelylady. I’m a bit out of my depth here but your situation sounds very serious. I’m going to ask for my stepdaughters thoughts - she works with women who have experienced, or are experiencing abusing partners .

Can I urge you to call the MS Society helpline to see if they have any advice. Are there any help services or groups in your area?

To me and from what you say, your partner’s behaviour is totally unacceptable

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Hi there. I think everyone with MS gets at least a bit depressed from time to time. I think we are all quite entitled to feel anxious , a bit teary and . MS is a horrible condition- no one knows exactly what causes it and no one knows of anything that can cure it fully. It’s enough to get even the bravest and most robust of people feeling down and i think each and everyone one of us deserves a medal for dealing with it ( bravery in the face of enemy action - or something like that ).

Similarly, I think it’s hard on partners. With most diseases, partner and family know that with treatment there is a good chance of a happy outcome but with MS, for the times being , it’s a matter of hoping and helping to make sure of an outcome that’s as good as can be.

I hope you don’t mind me being a bit intrusive but I’m glad to hear that you are both getting help.

I know from past experiences ( my own and friends) that particularly if you’ve had a difficult past, it’s very easy to get into a sort of addictive cycle of intense highs and lows of argument/ rejection then intense making up and acceptance until the next intense cycle starts. Takes a lot of energy and , well, basically it’s a lot of draining going around in circles .

Dealing with MS is going to take a lot of energy for you and partner to deal with. You have a common problem to face so - to put it in very simplistic terms - I do hope very much that you can unite and work together in harmony in overcoming the challenges of MS .

My best wishes to you


Thanks everyone for offering your support. We’ve been in touch directly with Lonelylady to offer help. We’ll now need to close this topic.