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partner

Hi,

I have MS and have known my husband for 6 years and he has always known me with MS. My walking has deterioated but am still walking with crutches.

The problem is he is quite depressed and feel I am partly to blame. He says he constantly worries about me - which is nice - but obviously not healthy.

Anybody else have this problem and what do you do to help yourself?

Thanks

Amy x

You can be supportive, advise your OH to see his GP so if he is depressed he can get mediction, counselling, CBT or whtever else may help him.

The most important thing you can do for yourself is remember that it’s not your fault despite your husband telling you it’s due to him worrying about you, he has to take responsibility for his emotions and actions, he is the only one that can change the way he feels all you can do is be supportive.

Hi, my hubby says he worries about me all the time. But last June, we started getting Direct Payments and now have 3 other carers who lift some of the weight off his shoulders.

It is a big thing when our partners have serious health issues. Of course we worry, it`s natural.

But if you think he needs some help, why not ask for an assessment from Social Services?

It took me 3 yrs to convince my hubby we needed help.

luv Pollx

My husband is having huge problems coping with my dx,both from the point of view of us losing my wage and 18yrs of mortgage left to pay and because he saw the effect ms had on my mom.

He seems to need to know exactly how I’m going to be physically over the next few years as my decline has been so rapid in the last 18mnths…wouldnt we all love to know!!!

I think his worry is totally based on him saying there is no way he could do any physical care for me,especially personal care…so inevitably he is scared to death of the future.

What is it about you ,your condition,your lifestyle together that makes him worry the most?

Pip

Hello,

I am in this forum partly by mistake, I have MS but understand what you are saying

Both of you need a different person to talk to and discuss the MS and associated problems, CBT might help bit in truth counselling is the answer.

If you go through NHS there will be a queue before you cam see anyone and it will probably be for a fixed number of sessions. I’m afraid you are going to have to bite the bullet and go privately.

Both of us go, been going for a couple of years, £30 to 40 per session, it saved our marriage.

Take a look at my website. Some of the blogs might help both of you. Its www.aid4disabled.com

Good luck

Patrick

Hi Amy, I landed on this by mistake, but I can relate to what your saying. I have ms and my husband cares for me. The ms society has a pot of money for councilling. Speak to your local branch as they can arrange it for both of you. Chis