My partner is 29 and has RRMS. We’ve known for a little while now but he’s just started treatment and I think reality is setting in a bit. I try to get supportive as I can without being overwhelming as he still wants to do things himself, even if it causes some pain.
Being a carer is so new to me. I struggle to keep on top of cleaning and household jobs alongside my job which makes me feel quite bad.
If anyone has any advice on adjusting to a new way of life with a diagnosis, either your own or your partner’s, I would be grateful to hear it.
I have been caring for my son for 11 years. When he was diagnosed I was very overwhelmed, went on a rollercoaster of emotions. God knows the emotions he experienced. I would advise finding your local MS group in your area. My son and I are members, we have support from the group and have met some lovely people who are now friends.
I think it’s a good plan to take your cues from him. Also, If you and he can have a discussion that would be great, so he knows you’re there if he needs help but you have made clear that you’ll let him get on with things until he tells you otherwise. Those adult to adult conversations can be hard to initiate (wine helps…) but it can be useful and avoid misunderstandings.
Hard to provide advice without knowing the specifics. I’m the one with MS in my marriage. For years I wasn’t looking for any particular support - just knowing that my then girlfriend- now wife still loved me and wanted to be with me was enough. The biggest thing , as in all relationships, was to talk and share.
As time passed and the MS affected me increasingly then ‘We’. Made adjustments to our life as and when required and when agreed through discussion. If your partner still wants to do things then good for him - it’s a much , much better outlook than just giving up and maybe you should encourage and support him in being as ambitious as he can in doing things? I can get a bit stupid in my ambitions but - nothing ventured nothing gained!
Hi K
I have just read your post as I was looking for advice myself there seems very little to help carers cope. I feel lost sad and at the end of my tether. I hope you managed your difficulties if you are able to signpost me from what you have learnt that would be really helpful
Thank you