Dealing with a diagnosis like MS is hard enough on our own, but taking into account how it can affect others makes it even harder. In terms of how it’s affected you both emotionally, I think things can improve - how you are each feelng now is not how you will always feel. As Tracey says, you both need to grieve the the loss of your pre-diagnosis health, and also the potential loss of your dreams & plans for the future. Grieving is a process and a journey, and there will be different stages you may experience - denial, anger, depression etc. It is possible to come to a place of acceptance though, when you can start to re-build your lives, dream again and move on. That process may take time and be hard work, but it is possible. Google ‘stages of grief’ and you might find some reading that explains how you & he are feeling.
I reckon all of us here in relationships have asked ourselves the question of whether our partner would be better off without us. It’s a massive question to ask - when I asked Kate to marry me (post diagnosis), I knew it would come with a huge cost to her, and in many ways I hate what I’ve asked her to do. However, my responsibility is to live a life as well as I can. If I’m doing things that I enjoy and bring me life & energy, then that will be good for her. Sadly that’s not something I’ve done enough of. The mistake I’ve made though is that I’ve been too dependent on her. I’ve relied on her to do too much, to create movement, and I’ve been a burden on her. It’s meant too often she’s been a carer rather than a wife, and I’ve been a dependent rather than a husband. Instead I need to live my own life, and to ask other people to help me when I need it instead of relying her to do everything for me. Wanting to be with him our of fear of being alone with MS probably isn’t the best reason for a relationship, and it might lead to him being resentful. Instead, choose to be with him because you’re good together (even if it doesn’t feel like you are right now).
One of the things that’s really helped us is to laugh together - to be stupid & muck about. We make each other giggle more than any other couple we know. And it’s vital to have people around you who understand & support you, both as a couple and as individuals. We’ve often lacked supportive community, and it can take its toll on the relationship.
That’s all turned into along ramble of a reply, but I want to say it is possible to have a happy life together. It’s flipping hard work at times, but it is possible.