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Really Upset

Blooming social media! This is a little bit of a rant and to get things off my chest, something happened last night and it really got me upset.

A friend of mine, no names needed, has just had a operation on his foot and is in a cast for 6-8 weeks, last night his family decided to go out to the shops and they took out one of the shopmobility electric carts. They proceeded to take a few photographs, post it on social media and say how the wife, the kids and he thought it was so funny.

A few hours later i go back to social media and take a look to see that loads of our “mutual friends” thought that the picture of him in the scooter was, “hilarious”, “the funniest thing they had seen in ages” etc etc.

I have used these scooters in a few places and have always been really uptight about how i must look, as we know MS is not a visual thing unless walking. I don’t do it that often but i really think i should do it more often so my family and I can share experiences more often, however all these “friends” thinking it looks “hilarious” has really just knocked me for 6.

I put some comments on the social media to say how I really didn’t find this funny, i hoped he would get better soon this, was a short-term thing, i pointed out that some people in life rely on this type of equipment to do things like shopping and it was very much a long term situation and that I thought that making fun of this was probably inappropriate, and then i apologised for my comment. (why i apologised i don’t know!).

This morning i awoke and had a few notifications to the original post, more people laughing at the photograph etc I then noticed that my post had been removed by the chap concerned but he had decided to leave everything else as it was! I thought I was going mad. I put on another post, “i see my comment has been removed, how come?” he sent me a PM saying “sorry you were offended, it was meant as humour” andhe proceeded to remove my second post! I replied to his PM with "that still doesn’t tell me why you have removed both posts, his reply was “whatever”.

The thing that really gets to me, this chap was one of the first people i ever told about my MS,nearly 25 years ago, I told him as he and I were really good mates back then, i hardly see him these days even though he lives 5 minutes away from me. Also to just add to the annoyance his mother has MS so he really should have more idea than most.

Right that is my rant over for the day!

Charlie (bloomin social media!)

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Oh Charlie,

I know exactly what you mean. I first used scooters in different cities from where I live as was not wanting to be seen by anyone I knew and friends.

Recently I’ve started going to events and parties in my chair. It takes a lot of guts to face your friends in chairs and scooters and for one of your acquaintances to trivialise it is hurtful. To remove your posts is even more insensitive. Even if people thought it was funny, your post would make people think a bit more carefully about what they wrote.

Social media has a lot to answer for.

Jen x

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Mmmmm, can be a very dangerous thing this social media malarkey. Must admit, I object to people knowing all your business to be honest & I find quite a lot of the content quite offensive. I am sorry to say Charlie, a lot of people are ignorant to others, especially when they have no concept of how hard it is when you have an illness that makes the very thing they find humorous very important & we depend on these things. I personally think this ‘friend’ of yours does not deserve your attention, heaven forbid he ever finds himself in your position, my advice? bugger him, he isn’t worth a light. Those that take pleasure in mocking the afflicted are really sad. Don’t let him get to you, idiots don’t deserve your time. Hopefully his leg will itch like mad & drive him up the wall, karma

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i’ll add to tracey’s suggestion and hope his willy itches like mad, how hilarious will that be to see!

sorry i’m not a very nice person.

#gallopingknobrot

carole x

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Totally agree with Tracey ! Also I steer completely clear from social media because I think a lot of it is offensive and my business is mine and I don’t care how many baked beans jo blogs just ate on his triangle toast !! You were right Charlie ignorance is a luxury we can’t afford and actually that makes me glad x

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Carole, omg I’ve peed myself!!! Flutterby, your a star, for someone so young, your a star! xx

I Carole’s comment. Long live the knobrot!!

Sue

Xx

Knobrot !! Choked on my tea !! I am going to borrow that one x

Carole, we are on a roll (you started it!!) Gorbshite, very old term for, well, what Carole said xxx

An excellent topic! Totally agree with comments here. I can no longer cope with a shopping scooter, so I am at home a great deal.

Why?? Why do I feel so embarrassed by my disability?

The worse thing for me - is being pushed in my wheelchair. My hope is my powerchair, when it arrives, will solve this sense of humiliation and fear of being mocked, made so popular by the BBC’s Little Britain. Another reason I avoid tv these days.

Why is mocking the disabled an acceptable form of prejudice?

Quite honestly - I’ve decided, I could not give a flying-f*@k what people think!

Sod the lot!

Fay

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I no longer have any embarrassment about any form of mobility equipment. I remember the first times I was in a wheelchair, I hated it, felt so flipping terrible. But it helped me to do some things I couldn’t otherwise. I’d felt the same about a stick initially, then a crutch. Now I give not a toss about whatever people think. I discuss my symptoms, my problems, my lack of mobility is the least of it.

And actually I rather like being pushed by my lovely husband. Somehow there remains a physical closeness because of being actually closer in space. So while I wheel myself about the house, he helps me in and out of the car, he puts my feet on the footplates (and has accepted the responsibility of pulling down trousers to meet shoes!). He often touches my shoulders as we’re out and about, and I often lean my head back against his (middle age spread) stomach. It’s quite nice really.

So ballcocks to the a’holes who take the p*ss out of someone in a mobility chair / scooter, whatever. And yes, I hope they do all get a galloping case of knobrot.

Charlie, you are better off without such pathetic nonentities as ‘friends’. And let me say, I think social media is shit. The way you are ‘friended’ by old friends, who you think you can now be in touch with. Can rekindle an old affectionate proper friendship. But no, you exchange one comment with each other and the rest is a load of crap. Just people showing off their lives. Or sharing jokes and funny cartoons. And expressing their political thoughts.

I signed up to one of the better known sites, got a load of friend requests from people I’d lost touch with. And that was that. Apart from getting a load of nonsense appear on my page. So I defriended a few people (I doubt they noticed), changed my settings so no one can post or view anything. Haven’t gone quite so far as to delete the account, but that day will come.

Sue

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here`s a thought…but no easy to do on paper as in reality…run the buggers over…the way to do it in writing could be to say…

blah blah blah

or

chuff off you chuffin chuffs

any other suggestions mateys?

when folk run behind me or in front of me in my leccy chair, I say Ill get you next time!`

it always gets a laff.

pollsx

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ah it was my lovely mum who used to say galloping knobrot.

she was a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul.

she would only mutter it to me and my sisters but definitely not in front of my dad who was a bit of a prude for someone who worked on building sites!

glad it made a few of you laugh.

carole x

Had a lovely day shopping in town yesterday with my youngest daughter who pushed my wheelchair. It must have been about 3 years since I went shopping in town. Nobody said anything. Although I did get a funny look from a toddler in a buggy.

She is such a good pusher unlike my husband. I get so anxious when he takes me out. Think Frank Spencer! Ive lost count of the amount of times he has almost tipped me out and he ran into a few things at the garden centre the other day.

I am almost ready to delete my social media account. Im so fed up of my newsfeed getting choked up with rubbish. If I wasn’t so nosy I would have deleted it before now. I must admit I use messenger a lot to keep in touch so I would miss that.

I echo the above and he should thank his lucky stars that he only has to use these things for a few weeks. Give him a few days and you never know the novelty will have worn off and he maybe won’t find it so funny. He might even have a bit of empathy for those of us who have to use these things permanently. You never know!

Carole, that gave me a laugh. What a lovely word. I’ll remember that.

Mags xx

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Sue the way you have captured your relationship above is beautiful! Honestly I can only hope me and Mr Flutterby will still be as strong so much further into this life and this disease xx

Poll you’re one in a mill !! Glad I’m on your team xx

Don’t get me wrong, I still whinge, whine and moan at times. He mostly ignores that sort of bad behaviour, which is really annoying! I am lucky though, he’s a good 'un!

Sue

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Playing devils advocate here, i really think personally you read way too much into the comments.

For them it was funny, he doesnt have MS, he had op on his foot, and seeing him on a scooter it was well funny to his family and friends. I wouldnt take this as in any other way.

You reacted badly to it, and this person didnt want his post spoiling by ending up in a disability argument. You turned it around about yourself and it was about his own issues at the time.

Sorry i may sound a bit harsh, but i really in all honesty dont see the issue.

It wasnt aimed at mocking you or other scooter users or people with disability it was just his family laughing at themselves and their dad and husband who had to use a scooter to get about.

He had an operation on his foot which must have been pretty painful and these scooters are designed to help those who have mobility issues and he does at the moment.

Being in a cast for 6 to 8 weeks is no fun either and perhaps he was worried about it all and if it would work, and if he would come out after the 8 weeks and be able to walk properly and the fun with the family and the scooter was his way of dealing with it all.

xx sorry but i am being honest here xx

I hope you can move passed his comments, social media causes more upsets and arguments then any other thing. If i dont like something i move on, or block it. xx

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The idea of facebook is you can post what you want on your own wall…if we dont want to read it well all we have to do is either UNFOLLOW, or unfriend, or make a list and put good friends in one, and acquaintances in another and only see posts from real friends. You can now block all political posts off facebook through google chrome and my wall is lovely and quiet lol…people can post what they like on their own walls, we dont have to nor are we forced to read their rubbish.

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