Sorry i need to vent this morning…
Since i found i have have the MS i have been on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ( sorry don’t want to sound like an x factor winner here). from being releved to finally have reason why i was always sick , to why i have suffered from depression from a young age , why i could never walk in a straight line etc etc … Then to the extremes of my future and what that now holds , to what this is doing to my famly and what it will do in the future.
I have always had to be very open with my emotions and feelings as i have suffered many dark times in the past and have learnt that the more i hold in the worse i become . I spent the 1st 3 months acting like i was fine and i wasn’t going to be beat and i wasn’t upset to then having full on melt downs mainly when I started to realise the things that i can’t do ( all be it these have been a temperary thing so far .thankfully).
But one thing that has really been getting on my wick is when friends and family say " you can’t think like that " or " no one knows what there future holds" … :evil: :evil: :evil:
Yes I am fully aware that i could go out tomorrow and get hit by a bus … and yes i know i shouldn’t think of the worst , but if i could stop it i would !!! but sometimes it starts to make me feel like i am being completely selfish and i shouldn’t get upset over whats happening as there are people out there that have it far worse than me .
I know alot of it is because they don’t know what to say to me , but sometimes i am not looking for them to answer me . Its more of a case of this is how i feel at the moment and this is why am crying so much .
It just feels like i am not allowed to be upset over what i now know. which as far as i am concerned is a pretty big factor to my future !
sorry i needed to get that out in the open , this seemed a good place to vent .