Forum

other people - not for the fainthearted

Hello all

Just wanted to relate what happened to others who will understand. Looking for tea and sympathy, really.

My continence routine is strict and under better control but I still have problems with this which limits my independence. So, out this weekend and you guessed it, I need a lavatory NOW.

I sped to the lav area on my scooter and tremoring so much I could not get the key out of my bag so went into the mother/child lav, the door was open and no one around. Well, no grab bars and by now my tremors are ridiculously limiting it was a struggle and I made it but what a mess :(

Then banging on the door, for the entire time I was in there which was a long time between going and cleaning up and when I came out verbal abuse from two people calling me spastic !? , getting right in my personal space, being rather vile about the smell, me, the scooter and it went on and on.

Funny thing is that I do notice that when adrenalin kicks in my symptoms are way worse so I couldnt do much except put my foot down and get out of there because my back was to them when I was backing out of the lav, I barely looked up and this is no like me. The tremors made it impossible to get my phone to call my husband who was elsewhere in the shop. I ended up crying like a baby.

I have used assistive devices for some time and I have never been abused like that before and to be honest it shook my confidence.

of course now I can think of lots of things to say but I am ashamed to admit I really did just take it and get out of there as soon as possible, they seemed so annoyed that I was a bit afraid.

Thanks for listening. Sorry about the gruesome details.

Tu

(((((hugs Tulip))))

Those that verbally abused & intimidated you are just effin ignorant.

They showed themselves up.

You acted with dignity and did the right thing by getting out of there. 

I know it won't make you feel any better about what happened but be proud of the way you handled the situation - even though you had no choice at the time.

Debbie xx

What a bunch of **** heads, it people like that give the human race a
bad name. They’re not worth losing sleep over.

Frank

Good morning

Thank you both for your replies, your kindness at taking time to reply is much appreciated.

I did suck it up in the end and I stopped crying. I reckoned if anyone including them saw I was that visibly upset, they would have won.

Tu x

 

(((((hugs)))))

Don’t feel guilty for doing a runner - there is absolutely no talking to some people :frowning:

And if you’re anything like me, you would have been mentally critiquing your performance and coming up with better lines for days! Too irritating for words!

But they aren’t worth it.

Karen x

I agree ,hold your head up high Tulip you done the right thing , How horrible of these people, to do that to you , i would have done the same as you and get out of there .Those people should be ashamed of themselves .

 

(((((((((((((Tulip ))))))))))))

Those people obviously have not got a brain cell between them!

How awful for you ((hugs))heart

You did the right thing.  You kept your cool and i think thats a good thing as to challenge them would have made the situation worse.

Don't give them another thought.

ignorant idiots!!!  angry

Teresa. xxxx

Hi Tu

I am so sorry you had the worst society offers outside the door that day.

Some people are ignorant and whilst we all think of things we could have said after the incident, you did the right thing by acting with dignity and with your head held high. 

Please dont let these inconsiderate and stupid idiots affect your confidence. It is hard (I know!) but get back on your scooter again as soon as possible, and go where you want to go. Dont let stupid people affect your life.

Paula xx

Read your post and had to immediately come out to compose myself before replying!!!! (I'm generally very relaxed, Honestly :-))))

Everyone else is right - You handled yourself with dignity and no little amount of courage.

It amazes me that people can be so ignorant. Chin up, as they say, and don't let moronic idiots get you down. Easier said than done I know but are they worth the brain time - Probably not.

Take care.

G :-)

I think you handled it brilliantly but I’m so sorry you had to suffer these (very filtered words!!) they were probably looking for an argument with someone and you happened to be there.
Take care
Xx

Hi Tulip

Reading your post all I wanted to do was give you agreat bug cuddle.

You should not be ashamed. People like that are pathetic, bullies and down right disrespectful. Its horrible to say but whatever goes around comes around - one day they will get their come upance.

You did the right thing and rose above it. Shouting would hve been the easy thing to do.

What annoys me even more about this is nobody came to your help or defence out there. There was a time where if someone saw something like that they would intervene. I think its terrible - people have such poor awareness and tolerance for epople that have a genuine disability or problem. Rather than supporting them so they can hold their head high in society nuts like the people above are allowed to stamp you down.

I'm so sorry you had to go through such a traumatic ordeal. Please don't let it knock your confidence. Thats letting people like that win and the only person it will affect is you.

Sending lots of hugs and positive vibes your way.

Reemz

X

Hi, yes, you were right to get away from a situation which was causing you further upset.

Now then, how many times have we waited patiently outside a disabled loo, only to see folk who look `normal` coming out?. I know you can`t always see a disability, but the people i am talking about aren`t in our `gang`.

luv Pollx

Amen to the replies you have had.

If you were Oscar Wilde and Joan Rivers combined, your razor-sharp wit would not have penetrated the skulls of types like that, so don't regret not coming up with a suitable verbal response.  It would have been wasted on them.

I am very sorry that such a bloody horrible situation happened.  Fuming on your behalf here.

Alison

x

Hi

A heartfelt thanks for all who replied when I needed it, I really do appreciate it. Sometimes, it just helps to vent.

Tu xxx

Oh sweetheart xxx I just don't know what to say to you xxx I certainly can't find the words to say what I think of those lowlife scummers x for shame on them xxjenxxx

I think I would have gone straight to a security guard or at least complained to staff.

Others are right, it doesn't matter what retort you could have come up with, they wouldn't have understood or even cared and probably would have just fuelled them even more. The right thing was to get away from them.

I don't know why people do things like this but I think they must have no compassion or have been raised (dragged up) badly.

 I think the reason many people don't intervene in situations like this is because they are scared to get involved. There are some real nasty folk out there and for that reason alone, people just don't want to get involed. I am an 'act first, think later' kind of person and would not have stood by and watched that. I would have opened my big mouth, but that often makes things worse and aggrevates the situation, so probably not helpful -  another reason why bystanders just watch or observe from afar without intervening.

We can't always be prepared for these things either, especially when we are caught off guard.

I will always remember an incident at the cinema that really upset me. I have Tourette's and am always worried about upsetting people in the cinema with my vocal tics. One guy was very aggrevated by me one time and I was getting more and more upset. He made it very clear he was annoyed by me. At the end of the film my (then) husband leaned over and explained that his wife has Tourette's and has evry right to be here, the guys reply?... "So do I!" (the point wasn't even about him and his right to be there).

The chap was with his wife, they were both about 50+ and dressed well. Obviously not your common low-life scum and I think it was for this reason that I got so upset. I can handle the numbskulls with their childish and uneducated remarks but I didn't know how to deal with the older, more educated people, and I think it's because I really didn't expect it.

I won't be caught out a second time and I won't be put off going to the cinema again.

Chalk it up to a bad experience and try to move on from it.

They will probably have forgotten the moment you left, people like that seem to be guilt and shame free.

Take a big comedy clown horn with you and if anything like that happens again, honk the horn in their faces to draw attention to them, give them a smirk, and move off.

LOL, sorry, not much help am I! I just try to do something they don't expect. Knock them off their guard too.

Everyone's quite right, you have nothing to be ashamed of - it's the way it is, and that's it.  Although I'd have told them to * off, you nasty so and so's.  

Can I suggest putting the key on a string round your neck in future?  That way you only need to catch the string to retrieve the key.

 

 

Hi,

I didn't read every response I just wanted to say how bloody horrible of them.. They should be ashamed of themselves, and you proud for not lowering yourself to their very low level.... 

 

sending a big hug, even though i imagine you have already forgotten about the low lifes they are.

 

Andrea

x

Hello

Thanks for the new replies. And, the support, I appreciate all the good thoughts, advice.

Key on a string I can do, getting said key into the keyhole is the challenging  bit :/

You are right, Andrea, those people are receding from my memory, one advantage of MS cognitive dysfunction is that I have the stm of a knat lol

Now that I am less rattled I do have to stress that the people I have encountered who are helpful and nice far outweigh the unhelpful ones.  thumbsup

Tu x