No support from husband

My mum passed away a year ago and I miss her so much. She was always my ‘go to’ with any problems. I had a relapse a couple of months ago and a course of steroids and am having different sensory issues again now so poss a separate relapse? My husband has no sympathy at all. He semi retired in Nov now working just 2 days a week and I am yet to see any benefit. He has a hobby he is very into and spends his spare time on that. I still work as a registered childminder 2 days a week and look after our 4 grandchildren at various times during the week. I just feel so sad and lonely. I have been on antidepressants for years but am not depressed by nature, just what’s going on around me.

hi orchid

i’m so very sorry that you lost your mum.

my mum died 26 years ago and i miss her every day.

your husband sounds like he is reliving his childhood.

…“but i want to play with my x-box”…

i don’t know what to suggest but you need someone who you can talk to as a friend.

if you have any female pals get in touch with them and arrange to meet for coffee.

when i was going through relationship issues, my mates were a veritable coven!

that was about 30 years ago and the marriage survived.

it isn’t easy meeting up with people after a long time but do try it.

sending you love, light and patience

carole x

I’m sorry to hear you’re having a tough time, but you’re not alone. Your experience is similar to my own.

I lost my mum 19 years ago and like your mum she took on everybody’s problems, it took me a while to cope with the loss, my family didnt unite over grief, my siblings went to war with each other instead, to this day my sisters don’t have anything to do with each other, and I’m still caught in the middle.

The only reason I haven’t killed my OH is because it’s illegal and I don’t fancy prison, hes not my partner anymore and is more like some bloke that lives in my flat, he’s lazy and does very little around the house unless it suits him so I’m almost ready for a visit from Kim & Aggie, his entire life is made up of spare time, and he spends 5 days a week out doing his hobby and when he is home he’s pursuing his other hobbies (playing like a kid on his tablet or drawing coz he thinks he’s an artist).

Hes taken to insulting me and repeatedly called me a liar late last night when I’d spent my time trying to sort out something for him! The only reason I’m still here is because I’ve got nowhere to go and no money to go with and he knows it which is probably why he’s showing his true colours, I think the only reason he hasn’t hit me is I’ve always spelt it out that I’d report it and have him prosecuted!

if my mum was still with us I’d have moved back in with her and gone a long time ago.

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Although he should in fairness give support to you over your recent loss, it sounds as though he has gone into his own mode to cope with his emotions. Before the divide becomes more, and more you should both talk to one another about how you truly feel, because the longer you let things go on it’ll just make you both more resentful over each others actions. You were once happy together i take it, so at least theres still some hope left you can be again.