Forum

Depression and lack of support

I think I’m having a relapse. I told my mum today and got no response…no wonder the woman at the doctors says I feel isolated :frowning:

Hi Rebecca!

I’m sorry your Mum didn’t offer more support. Perhaps she felt limited in her knowledge of your condition and that would emphasize her own inadequacy …better to keep quiet than risk appearing like an ordinary human being ?!!

Please do remember there are people here that know exactly what you’re going through and will be only too ready to offer support, understanding and friendship. Just drop us a line whenever you need to and someone will usually be able to offer help and advice.

All the best for now!

Dom

Hi Rebecca, I know how you are feeling, its not good being in this place, but like Dom said…Loads of us on here will help, and support you.

Jan x

It seems that people - even if close to you - just don’t ‘get it’. Even this MS Society website doesnt ‘get’ that when you can’t walk very well or at all, it kind of hurts when the first thing you see when you visit it is ‘get your running shoes on’. It isn’t malicious and, I guess, that your Mum just doesn’t ‘get it’ or just can’t bear to think of her ‘baby’ being ill with MS. I hope you go into remission really soon and know that there is support here on the forum. Take care, Karen

I hope I go into remission soon too. We were walking to the shop and it was hurting my legs which is why I told her. I just wish she’d take some time to read up on it especially she’s there for anything, no matter how insignificant, for my sisters. I’m worried I embarrass her :frowning:

I have had MS for 13+ years, I’m on anti-depressives, my mother and father are both dead. I’m 56 and my wife has no understanding (maybe because she is Northern Irish and catholic - don’t know) - my wife is an Optometrist and I am the only partner that she has had. My own doctor is possible to get MS - he has a brother who has it. Try not to criticize your mum - it’s not her fault! - Tell me about it!

Marcus. (and my blo*dy initials are MS! - not fair.)

After seeing how bad I was before I just thought she’d had a lot of time to talk to me about it or look it up and I thought by telling her today about the relapse she may have asked questions or something…clearly it was too much to ask

Hi Rebecca I understand how you feel. My Mum has not coped well with my diagnosis - having done very little to find out about MS and always saying the wrong things in conversation if it comes up. It makes you feel very unsupported, doesn’t it? Teresa xx

It definitely does. I started seeing a therapist this week. I only saw her for 30 minutes but she hit the nail on the head by saying I feel isolated because of the lack of support. She made me cry!!! :’-(

Hi Rebecca,

Sorry to hear your in a bad place at the moment. have you tried gertting some brochures from ms society explaining about it. If you did and just left them lying around maybe your mum would pick them up and have a little read whilst you’re not there. That’s what I did with my husband and now he understands, not all of the things that happen to us but realises that no two days can be the same for us.

Have you got a close friend you can talk to about it. Or have you got a local ms group, all these things help. But if all else fails we’re here for you. Sending (((((BIG HUGS)))))

Janet

x

I too have experienced NOT having support from close relatives. I make no excuses for them – basically they’re selfish sh*** who should know better!

I know just how you feel; this morning when stuggling from the heat a member of my family seemed puzzled by this, I had to explain for the millionth time that people with MS don’t fair well in the heat! He did seem to understand better when I told him that I’d been suffering from a headache for 2 days. It seems that people can only understand things that affect them too. I feel like saying why don’t you look up the b…symptoms.

Actually I did show my dad a booklet (one of the MS essentials) on the bladder, as he didn’t get why I was having infections and why I need to self catheterise, in his mind only people with prostrate problems (which he has) suffer with this. I showed him a diagram and he now understands about this. It might be an idea to give your mum some information. Especially on what happens when a relapse occurs.

Take care

Love Wendyx

Hi, I think some of our friends/family must be in denial about our health problems. My hubby used to say things which proved this. So did our eldest daughter. Even now, when I tell her about something I am struggling with, she`ll tell me how bad her back is!

I was once trying to do the washing up, after a meal she and her children had shared with us. I was in my wheelie, stretching up to the sink, when she came into the kitchen. She said, Oh that must really hurt your back, I said it did. but added What can I do about it? She said she didn`t know and walked out. Unbelievable eh?

luv Pollx