Forum

Relapse through loss

Hey everyone I’m having a pretty rough time of it at the mo. My partner of 8 years has dropped a bombshell on me saying he doesn’t know how he feels about me anymore. I’m currently staying with a family member as he says he needs some space to think. I’ve agreed to give him the time alone but I’m so cut up. I love him so much hes my life. I really don’t know how ill cope without him. I just want to say he’s a brilliant man, he’s nursed me through bad relapses I couldnt have asked for anyone more supportive and loving, this is what’s making it so difficult also. We have had a rough year because I’ve been so ill and money troubles haven’t helped the strain on us. It’s my birthday Saturday and I’m going back to work next week, wonderful timing! I’m so scared I’m going to have a relapse because of all the upset. I just want to know any experiences you may have had of this and if it has caused a relapse in anyone. Thanks x

You poor, poor thing. I haven’t experienced what you’re going through and my relapses just follow their own sweet logic - don’t come particularly when I’m having a stressful time. I just wanted to send lots of sympathy and say I hope things get better for you.

Hi, I can empathize with your current situation and believe that stress can bring on a replapse putting you in a vicious circle. I went through a break up which led to divorce, and like you the situation was compounded by money problems, as I was the main bread winner and was unable to work. I tried to concentrate on what I could control and let the other things take their course. It is great that your partner has been so supportive to date showing him to be a man of compassion, and I hope things work out between you, but you must put yourself first and do what you can for yourself. All the best, Peter

Hi,

I guess there is a lot of fear going on…not surprising!

When I had my relapse my wife was and is very supportive. I can’t say I’m easy to live with, especially my mood. I find it hard to accept my MS at times and I do find it hard to give my wife the space she needs. No point in beating ones-self up, I keep telling myself and its TRUE.

There’s a lot of support is out there, its just a matter of …accepting it, at least that’s my own feelings.

Oh, by the way … no one should have to work or think about work, on or near their Birthday!

Jonny BG

Hi,

I guess there is a lot of fear going on…not surprising!

When I had my relapse my wife was and is very supportive. I can’t say I’m easy to live with, especially my mood. I find it hard to accept my MS at times and I do find it hard to give my wife the space she needs. No point in beating ones-self up, I keep telling myself and its TRUE.

There’s a lot of support is out there, its just a matter of …accepting it, at least that’s my own feelings.

Oh, by the way … no one should have to work or think about work, on or near their Birthday!

Jonny BG

Thanks everyone I just hope he sees sense we’ve had some really good years together x

Nothing to offer except sympathy - sorry you are having a rotten time. Alison

The only thought that did occur to me was, try to keep it to one problem at a time. Relationship, MS, work… The relationship is in trouble and there is not much to be done about that just now. MS does not need to be more of a problem than usual - do not waste time worrying about that - MS will do its sweet thing and never mind what you want. Work - that one you have covered because you are going back next week - good opportunity for you to remind yourself that you are an independent person in the world, with an identity of your own. It will be tough, no doubt, I all sorts of ways, but I really hope that goes OK and is good for morale. Just keep it simple, take each day on its own terms and keep the show on the road as best you can. We all have an instinct for self-preservation; be sure to listen to yours. You will come through this. Alison

Thanks Alison for your kind words x