New job dilemma

Hi all,

I wonder if I could get some advice. I have just started a new job last week in admin in the legal industry and they also know I have MS. However I am finding the new job quite difficult in terms of the subject matter as its dealing with people that are very unwell with terminal illnesses. I did not think I would have a problem but i am finding it emotionally really hard especially with having to deal with my MS as well. It’s also a lot more physically demanding than I thought it would be.

Do you think it would be in order to explain this to my employers? I feel terrible as they took me on knowing I had MS but really think it is the wrong environment for me to be in as it’s making me think about my future with MS. I’m feeling a bit lost and not sure what to do.


hi darcy

do your employers not carry out sessions with the staff to unload the upset from the cases?

i can’t remember what these sessions were called.

when i worked as an area senco we all had such sessions because some cases were distressing.

maybe ask your line manager and tell him/her the reason.

good luck

carole x


i also deal with cases involving terminally ill people. It is very stressful but my employer provides a telephone service to counselling to help us. It can be difficult to draw a line between my role and what I have to deal with. It’s probably very cynical but I try to deal with each case as a customer. It’s a way that helps me.

if you employers don’t provide this many organisations have services available to help.


I would be inclined to give it some time. My guess is that most new employees would be feeling a bit rattled, dealing with so much to remind them of their own mortality - MS or no. It is bound to take a while to become habituated to that and to be able to stand back from the situation and offer professional guidance and advice dispassionately and without it taking too much of an emotional toll. It is a pity if your colleagues are not offering you some support with this - they have surely been through the same difficulties. But maybe they’ve just forgotten! If you do stick it out, perhaps you can be a bit kinder to the next new starter and take the time to show him/her the ropes and advise on coping with the distressing aspects of the work.

Good luck with the new job. I hope that it works out for you.



I think you should tell someone at work that you are finding some of the cases hard to digest. You might find that others have felt the same when they were new. If they are not supportive then it’s not the right place to work. Put your health first. Don’t make yourself ill by pushing on if it’s not right. You will find another job. If this job makes you ill why stick it. I had a relapse caused by work a couple of years ago. I will never put my job before my health again. Hope you find the right way

helena xx