Hey everyone, newly diagnosed with relapsing remitting ms. Just came out of a bad flare up and I’ve got a first date on Saturday and I’m so nervous to tell him about my condition any tips/advice are so appreciated
Wish I has some good advice to offer. Is the date with someone you’ve know for a while?
Do you have to mention it? Unless the physical hangover from your relapse demands some sort of explanation, I’m not sure I would even go there on a first date, quite honestly. I am sorry that you have this dilemma.
1 Like
Tend to agree with @alison100 . Do you need to mention it on a first date. Perhaps just play it by ear / step by step. Unless it’s someone you already know and quite like you might decide that one date is more than enough!
Use the first and perhaps second date to work out what the guy is like , is it going to develop into something longer than dates and consider if and how to tell him?
I have been thinking what I would do and how I would introduce the topic . The best I could come up with is something like ‘ look, I like/ really like you and would like to see you again but do think I should tell you about etc’ Maybe talk about DMTs being so better these days etc
P.S don’t assume that MS means the end of relationships . I was about 3-4 years into a relationship when I was diagnosed. I told my then girlfriend that I would quite understand if she wanted to end the relationship and would feel absolutely no resentment etc towards her. Pleased to say that we celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary this year.
2 Likes
I’m so happy to hear that! Congratulations on 11 years together that is so special. Unfortunately I haven’t been so lucky, I was in a relationship for 6 years and I got diagnosed in march this year and 2 weeks later he told me he didn’t love me and he left me. This has knocked my dating confidence so much and I just feel a little lost and alone and that I’m not gonna find someone who understands which is so scary to me. I feel like I might be being irrational but the fear is genuinely so much sometimes so this date was so scary to me. I didn’t tell him in the end I just had a good time and enjoyed his company which was nice so I’m gonna wait and see what happens
I had the date last night and it went really well. I decided not to tell him so gonna wait see how things go and then decide if I’m gonna tell him or not. Thank you so much for the advice!
2 Likes
Good to hear that you enjoyed it.
I know it’s hard not to rush ahead and think about all the ‘what ifs’ etc and to start catastrophising . My wife reminds me that when I was first diagnosed I was full of gloom and doom about being wheelchair bound in a few year..I think that after years with MS I’ve sort of learned to take things one day, one step at a time. Somehow, we have to learn to be kind to ourselves and keep a positive open outlook , enjoy what we can and you never know what good things might come round the corner .
P.s after 18-19 years I’m not wheelchair bound😎
hello im new here!