Neighbour causing my problems

Looking for some advice please.2 years ago a new neighbour moved into the flat above me.She came round to introduce herself.She also said to me that if her tv was on too loud at night,i should tell her and she’ll turn it down.
About a week later i was kept awake by by her tv.The next time i saw her i mentioned it.The following weekend i got a loud bang on my door.I opened it and it was her daughter." i hear you’ve a problem with my mum" I said i had no problem,i just requested she turns her tv down at night.She replied " She hasn’t even got a fing tv so you’re talking st.Cause any problems for my mum and you’l fing regret it.
I emailed my housing officer.She replied asking if i wanted her to go have a word.I said no,i just wanted to report it in case of any further problems.I was hoping it would be a 1 off.I was getting glares and dirty looks from her and her family.I don’t understand what i’d done wrong but i just ignored it.
A few weeks ago my mum came to see me.When she left i could hear raised voices.I went to the window and saw she was being shouted at my a man. My neighbour was in the car with him.He got angry because my mum politely asked him if he could move his car so she could get out. He called my mum a f
ing ugly bitch. Mum asked what his problem was and he said “you are”.We don’t know this man and have never spoken to him.I know now he’s her partner. I emailed my housing officer again and just asked her to make a note.
Bank Holiday weekend my mum came to pick me up. He was in his car but parked in my disabled parking bay. It meant my mum would have had to park quite a way up the street. To avoid a confrontation,she waited till he moved.My neighbour came out of her flat. Words were exchanged with the man and heard her say " well she’ll just have to f
ing wait wont she".And they just sat there for a few mins,just being awkward.The man said to mum " can’t the fing cripple walk you ugly f**ing bitch" then sped off.
So that was the final straw.My housing officer came to see me on Monday.She will get a letter Tuesday being asked to go in to see them about the allegations i’ve made.My problem is,they are a rough family and i’m worried about what they will do once they know she’s been reported by me.I live alone and having MS,i’m vulnerable. I’ll be on edge that a brick will come through my window or damage the property, that the type of people i’m dealing with.I’m going to feel scared to step foot out of my door. I’m tempted to retract my statement.If i do,they are getting away with it.I’m not eating or sleeping with worry.What to do? Help pls.
Thank you

Oh this is just so awful for you! Have any other neighbours had any trouble as well? If so, then the woman would get a warning and if the trouble continues, she may even be evicted.

It is the most awful thing when you can`t relax in your own home. This is the place where we need to feel safe and secure.

if it was me, whilst I too would be afraid of reprisals, I wouldn`t be able to ignore the threats and abuse.

This sounds like a case for an asbo, eh?

I do hope the problems settle down very soon.

luv Pollx

No just me.All because i did what she told me to do.Tell her if her tv is too loud at night.Doesn’t make sense.

Don’t really use this site anymore since it changed.Do i have to click quote so you receive my reply,or post new comment as ive done now?

Fi x

Hi Fi, yeh, just click on quote and that`ll do the trick.

As you say, you did what she asked. Her family must be the fighting type. Shame for you, after living there happily before she came.

luv Pollx

[quote=“MS43”] I’ve been here 6 years,she’s been here 2.I looking for somewhere else to live but only because i feel i’m being driven out :frowning: x

Hi Fi, yeh, just click on quote and that`ll do the trick.

As you say, you did what she asked. Her family must be the fighting type. Shame for you, after living there happily before she came.

luv Pollx


Oh I know exactly how you feel. I had a load of trouble with the local kids but I was too afraid to make a fuss because I didn’t want to risk reprisals from their families.

These people are scum. It’s no good expecting normal civil behaviour because you’re not going to get it. The issue with the TV is a good illustration. In the two and fro of conversation one does not expect to be lied to but either the mother or the daughter (I suspect the younger) lied about having a TV. Add that to the abusive language and you have their measure.

I know that you are afraid but my advice is to try and live life exactly how you want to. – don’t let them make you afraid. They have so much more to loose than you. Most councils and housing Ass. have a commitment to tenants being allowed “quiet enjoyment of their home”. If this is being interrupted they must take steps to sort it out – this can include eviction of the wrong doer.

I would take your complaint a step higher into the “hate crime” area. You have been abused because of your disability. The council will probably be a hate crime reporting center – if not the community constable will be. Mention hate crime and the intervention will accelerate. You could also contact for support

You may get reprisals – but look at it like this -------it just adds weight to your complaint. They won’t hurt you (believe me they’re not that daft) and the council will mend any damage that they might do. I don’t mean to sound base because it’s horrid to be frightened but the sooner they leave you alone the better and the only way to achieve that is with intervention.

Please let us know how you get on



Stick with this site - as you will get advice from folk who have had similar problems - Jane’s advice looks just the thing to do.

l feel so sorry for you - is there no way you could catch them on cctv - or record the bad language. Ask for the community policeman to come and visit you - Verbal abuse and threats are not to be tolerated.

Do you know any of the other neighbours - have they had the same sort of trouble - speak with them - like you- they might be frightened as well - but are keeping their heads down. This is not the way to live. l would have thought a cctv camera pointing at them would help your case.

We are all here - wishing we could come round mob handed and sort them out!!


I realy feel for you sweetheart,I too had the same problem,im,e afraid it not an easy fix.

My upstairs neighbour carried on her vendetta for a long time i wont scare you by going into all the details but suffice to say I had many a post on here asking and recieving good advice.

Keep a diary and photographs iff possable buy a cctv system and record incidents where ever possable.

My problem is now resolved but i know now how much it takes it out of you both phyically and mentally.

All the best Barbara.xx

Thank you all for your advice.Very helpful and i will see it through to the end.I can’t let these people behave like this towards myself and my mother.They are nothing but bullies and i need to stand up to them.I forgot to mention that my vile neighbour is in her late 60s.Not what you’d expect from an OAP is it? I’ll keep you updated and thanks again.

Fi x

This is terrible for you , they are nothing more than s**m i think you should report them to the police, i wish i lived near you i would teach this chap a lesson he would never forget with my stick!shame on them. hope you get this sorted asap. take care of yourself. ps you can buy some reasonably priced cctv cameras by micromark on e/bay about £25-30. put one facing outside your door to record them for evidence… Tony.

Hi, I agree with Pat, report them to the police, it’s disability hate crime for starters. This situation is terrible for you and you have done nothing wrong. I also think you should see your GP so that there is another record of the stress and anxiety they are causing you.Maybe prescribe you something to help you sleep, but I think it would help you to have some else to talk to about it and keep a record of the effect on you.

I really hope the warning works first time, they can be evicted for this kind of behavior, and won’t get housed in Social Housing again.That should give them something to think about. Your local councillor should also be informed as they carry some weight with local housing associations. Good luck hun.

Makes my blood boil just reading about such people. I think the police are much more responsive (I hope) to this type of bullying right now because of cases like the one linked below and the political pressure it brought. Is it a council, or Housing Association tenancy? In either case I think they are empowered to take strong action. We were harrassed by a neighbour and the police wrote on our behalf to the Housing Association of the neighbour concerned (as well as threatening ASBO). Another aggrieved neighbour overheard the conversation (the mother is the sort to hold slanging matches in the street) when the housing officer arrived to read the ‘riot act’. Basically they were left in no doubt that continuing the harrassment would ultimately lead to eviction. Guess what? it stopped. This is one reason why I get annoyed when I hear ASBOs being decried as ineffective. Not in this case.


I do not have any further advice from what people have already said but hope you do get this sorted as we have enough to contend with fighting MS.