Hi everyone, firstly sorry to go ANON, I’m a little embarrassed, ashamed, apparently some of the lesions I have are in the part of the brain that control thought, anyway from time to time and I do think it’s becoming more so, I have really negative thoughts about other people, especially the people I love and care about the most and I know they love and care about me, if they don’t ask how I am I think they feel like I’m making this ms thing up, because like so many keep telling me, oh you look so well, I take everything the wrong way, like if someone doesn’t get in touch when there supposed to do, I think it’s me and the ms thats putting them off, I sit and think about things too much, my husband said to me, don’t think that way about your sister she love you very much and I know this but can’t help, then these thoughts will pass and I’ll not feel like that, I’ll be upbeat,I tend to feel like this when the ms is playing up, I’m too tired, anyway I suppose I just wondered if anyone else ever feels like this. x x
I think everyone has these types of thoughts every now and then, it is after all human nature to question the things around us. However if these thoughts and beliefs are controlling your life and affecting your relationships i think a bit of intervention is needed. Go and have a chat to your GP and or MS nurse. Tell them what you just told us and see what they suggest? Maybe some counselling or as a short term help some medication. There is no need to be embarresed about this, anxiety, depression - call it what you will are common problems with us ms-ers - just make sure to ask for some help - so it doesn’t take over.
Hope you feel better soon
Hi I agree with Laura…I had counselling which helped massively and I take amytriptilene which I appreciate isn’t for everyone but again, helps me. It’s very easy to feel down and negative when dealing with an illness head on and it’s going to get on top of you especially when symptoms are playing up. But get advice before it gets out of hand. MS is difficult enough without letting it effect relationships with people whom you depend on for love and hugs. Catherine Xx
I took me ages to realise my MS lesions had given me a very short fuse so now when I feel the red mist descending I just step back and realise what I’m doing, it’s difficult but once you realise your thoughts are being dictated by your lesions you can control them better.
I think that when something like MS barges into one’s life, it makes a person doubt a lot of things that used to look like certainties. Like who loves her and who is on her side and who can be relied upon for support etc etc. And that is before even thinking about specific damage caused by lesions. It can take a long time to feel confident again about one’s place in the world and even family circle. And then something else bad happens on the MS front, and everything feels up in the air again. And so it goes on. I do not think it is unusual to feel negative about things sometimes. At least you know you are doing it - that is half the battle, I think. Have you thought about counselling? It can be a very good way of helping to make sense of thought patterns that are not helping you, and can help you to see an exit off that treadmill of negative thoughts. I have found it very helpful. Alison
Don’t feel terrible about your feelings. I have been on ( very successfully) Cipralex ( escitalopram) for the last 9 years which keeps me on the straight and narrow MOSTLY. BUt at the moment, I could cheerfully smack my lovely husband sharply about the head, but only because I am facing an appointment tomorrow to discuss whether I now have Rheumatoid Arthritis/ Lupus/ Sjogren’s Syndrome. I am sick of the MS, but the thought of trying to cope with something else is making me very frustrated. He understands the nitty gritty of these horrible conditions, but still leaves me to run the house, family, and all the other rubbish we have to organise every single day, so I do get a bit brassed off at times. However, I should say say mostly it’s my fault as I stilltry to be Superwoman. ( I wish). Take care, Alison xx
Hi and thank you for all your lovely replies, it’s great to get support from people on this site, mostly you know where I’m coming from, I will certainly look at councelling, but the meds are not for me. x