This is gonna sound awful - I know even before I write it!!! I am constantly suspicous of my hubby, I mean why would he want to be with me - we’ve been together now for 18 yrs — but the last 2 have been awful - I was diagnosed about 8 months ago. Always been a bit of jealous streak in me, but last couple of months have been worse, constantly checking on him, have even drove around to check that he was telling me the truth… i’m fed up of the constant questions… never mind him!!! I have asked him outright and he keeps tell me NO… I’ve also gave him an option, if he wants to he can leave… no bad feeling, why do I keep pushing him away… I love him loads but my confidence is low… Some days it drives me mad… the mood swings are major… Does anyone else feel like this??? The only place he goes is work, doesnt go out in the evening, not on weekends, we spend time as a family… but why this??? Anyone feel like this? At the moment this feels worse than the MS… !!! If thats possible, do I NEED SOME PSYCHOTHERAPY ??
I do suffer from jealousy myself, never trusting and issues of self worth, confidence etc. I also have a habit of pushing people away because of how I feel about myself.
If you think you could benefit from it you could ask your neurologist to refer you to a psychologist. I see a neuropsychologist as they are better to see than what your GP can refer you to as they specialise in neurological conditions not just MS. They can help with finding out where these issues of distrust stem from. It’s not lying on a comfy couch but it is you talking about your thoughts, fears, feelings whether it be about your MS or your husband.
There is also the MS helpline on 0808 800 8000. They are available 9am to 9pm Mon - Fri.
Jealousy is a difficult demon to shake off but low self esteem is often at its root. You have summed it up nicely with the statement : “I mean why would he want to be with me”
Lets turn the tables a moment – if it were your hubby that had been diagnosed with MS would you be out the door? You wouldn’t stick around out of duty or pity but because MS would not have essentially changed the person you had been with for 18 years. MS changes us physically and presents lots of challenges but I think I am more or less the same person I was before. I still care about the same things, laugh at the same things, get impatient and angry in the same measure as I did pre diagnosis.
You husband sticks around because he wants to – probably because he loves you. You have only been dx a very short time (my darling, 8 months is NOTHING)but I can tell you for free that nothing will make love wither on the vine quicker than jealousy.
I think a course of counseling would be helpful to let you get this illness in perspective and to learn that people with MS have value. The jealousy thing needs dealing with. Stress is really bad for MS: I know all too well what that churning in the gut and racing heart from jealousy feels like, you need to get rid of it.
Jane
Your life has changed and I think you need some support probably yes from a specialist. Its bound to have some effect on you. You say you have always had a jealous streak in you. I think you just feel so low right now you cant understand why he s would want to be with you, but he does. Can you not go away for a weekend and just talk, and tell him how you feel and how irrational you feel etc.
I have not been diagnosed with MS but somedays I have this awful rage inside of me and I want to smash things and my husbands face poor guy. He is so good to me but sometimes he just has to leave some mess on the side and I could throttle him lol. I think it comes with MS to be honest I have heard of lots of people who feel like this. I read somewhere it was one of the symptoms. Uncontrollable emotional outbursts are usually the result of the disease process.
“I can go from happy to sad to angry in the space of a few seconds.”
Just wanted to thank all the other forum users xx will take on board ur comments
me too, I check his phone time his outing, its damn stupid really but my confidence as gone,
Read what she wrote - 'cos she is right!
Geoff (now just past the 50-year mark)
…just have that bottle of whatever ready (do not overdo it because of the bladder issues…) and talk to him. There is nothing worse than not trusting your partner in times like these.
I trust my partner unconditionally, as that is what we promised each other when we got married. As simple as that.