MS fatigue and new relationship

I have just started a new relationship and I told him early on about my ms, and explained that I am mainly affected by fatigue. It doesn't generally stop me doing much but it does strike without warning and sometimes I have to skip things.

Anyway, I have realised that I'm not too good at communicating about it, partly because I don't fully understand/accept it. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice/tips? What would be great would be a leaflet specifically for boyfriends/girfriends of people with ms fatigue. The MS Society essentials fatigue sheet would probably be a bit overkill.



Quite a lot of people find that the "spoon theory" helps to explain fatigue to others in a simple way. You'll find it easily if you google it. I'm not a massive fan personally because it doesn't really fit with my own version of fatigue, but perhaps it will help?

Karen x

Hi Eski, I think using electricity as an example works pretty well. Saying that sometimes the power is turned right down and sometimes the plug is just pulled right out!

Also, when I have the massive loss of energy (plug pulled out) I call it 'having a meltdown'... most people understand that to a degree. 

It's a very hard thing to explain to anyone. I've also used flu to describe it. Most people have had flu and know how rotten  and tired it makes them feel. 

I would also say it's very important to allow a partner the freedom to go and do things without you when you're feeling tired. I know that can be hard sometimes, especially in a new relationship, but expecting a partner to miss out on things because you're not well is hard on them. If you're not up to going make a point of telling them to go without you and telling them you hope they have a good time... and be interested when you next see them... ask what it was like etc. That way there will not be any resentment or guilt on their part. 

Good luck in your lovely new relationship,

Pat x