im just feeling sad today , everything got to much ended falling out with Lee…oh the joys of being disabled and everything that goes with it, I love him so much but lifes not easy and hes totally burnt out caring for me and the rest of us. if i could drive my car id be miles away …really want to run away.
Michelle xx
Hi Michelle. I hear you. It is tough on everybody and you feel responsible. Being disabled is crap and I find it very frustrating to not be able to walk off or leave the room in a marked manner!!! It’s tough on those that live with you and it’s tough on you. I find I have to ‘accept’ so much more, and I know my poor family do so much but I also find they takeover little things.
hope your sadness passes a little. I’m off to have a glass of red wine, even though it’s not good for me, and food. I don’t know what your drink of choice is, but I raise my glass to you. Take care xxx
I’d run away too if I didn’t have to take the problem (i.e. me) with me.
No advice, but much sympathy
((((hugs))))
Jo
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) it just all gets too much at times Michelle…i know …
J xx
Hello Michelle.
I belive my disability and subsequent frustrations have caused me a lot of pain. It destroyed my marriage but I do believe it was more about her family being so self-centered and downright weird. I’m sure Lee is more normal. Wishing you much hugs. And yes, sometime this afternoon I shouted CASHEWS.
Best wishes. xxx woof.
In the good old days when we had a row I would walk out, jump on a bus and go down town for retail therapy, now of course you just have to sit there and simmer and wish you could run for the hills. Just because you are disabled doesn’t mean you are immune from rows. In fact there has been so much more resentment lately than we have ever had.
We had a row this afternoon about washing of all things. How has it got to this?
Mags xx
It does all get too much at times, doesn’t it?
Sending love to you all,
Nina x
Thanks everyone, i ended up going out for a walk with Frazer last night. Frodsham is quite a safe place but we must have looked a sad lonely pair, me in my wheelchair covered in blankets and Frazer trying to cheer me up…he always knows when i’m sad. Lee’s fine but probably ready for a break, last night i wanted to catch the train to Glasgow and runaway to my sons…daft i know but thats how i felt at 9:30 it was too late and although i’m the one with a disability i’m a carer too and it would have been unfair on Molly and the others too. This weekend had been especially hard because we’d had Rosanna home my other daughter, she lives in 24 hour care in the community and we try to have her home every other weekend. She has bipolar and Autism and more learning difficulties than Molly so it had been challenging Lee took her back after tea yesterday but shed been more difficult this weekend. i’m not sure why things go wrong, but we are close so its going to happen sooner or later,i just feel a terrible guilt for adding to the family problems before i got ill i was the one running around after them all and Lee worked full time, now he’s had to take much more on.
Michelle x
Hi Michelle you hold a lot of guilt and thats not good.Its not your fault none of it,you do an amazing job…you really do…things are tough for you and your family and you are bound to get down anyone would…life with MS isnt easy and life with autism isnt either,we didnt ask for either…hope you feel better very soon,but please be kind to yourself…
J x
Hi Michele…oh love, life with a severe disability is a real pig…we wheel along with a smile and a cheery word for folk, for the majority of the time, but occasionally it gets the better of us.
And the trouble is, we cant walk, nor run, nor wheel away from ourselves. There are times when I would dearly love to do that.
My hubby gets tired looking after me, the dog and doing all the thing around the house I used to do.
At least Ive been able to give Bev more hours to help....but this has been due to cutting my dear sisters hours down. No more deep and meaningful or lighthearted talks in bed till midnight. No more larking about in the shower and soaking her on her pjs and no more holidays with her.
She`s 70 this year and having had a long chest infection that has made her re-evauate her life.
Back in October I sacked a carer for bullying me.
At weekend, my daughter came to visit and saw me in tears…she thought I was coping so well…she was shocked…I usually dont like to bother her and her sister with my worries.
But she turned things round for me, as she is attempting to recruit a stand in carer for me. She does recruiting for carers in her job. So she`ll be vetting, shortlisting and then interviewing with me if she finds anyone who may be suitable.
These dark nights are shortening Michelle, so we must look forward and keep looking for better times.
lots of love
Pollsx
Oh Michelle please listen to all of the above and be kinder to yourself. Having MS is bad enought. Yr family struggles with a lot of other challenges. You do an amazing job. But. You are only human. Sometimes it all gets too difficult. We on here understand. We are all here when you need a chat. Hope you feel brighter soon. Anne x
Hi Michelle
Please don’t be hard on yourself, you and your hubby do a remarkable job, you have got an awful lot on your plate to contend with.
My children are all grown up, so it’s only my hubby and me at home, but sometimes (without meaning to) we can easily wind one another up, and believe me I have felt like running away lots, as it is very difficult to loose ones independence and not feel guilty.
Lots of times I have thought I wish I could still drive my car, and not have to ask someone to do it, so I could just have a change of scenery, but it does pass, and tomorrow is another day, and hopefully better for you.
Hang in there, we all understand, and are here for you (((hugs)))
Pam X