Help, im feeling so sad today …went out last night and one of my friends decided to tell my autistic daughter off…result Major Major melt down…they don’t realise the harm they do she was in a mess and so was i ended up falling when getting out of the car, really hurt my knees (don’t try to run when your angry and sad!)
Michelle
Thats awful Michelle,your friend has no right to tell your daughter off, does she realise the damage shes done,she needs to be told just what impact her actions have had on both you and your daughter
Try not to dwell on it,it wont do you any good at all,heres a big fat squidgy ((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))) to comfort you.
J x
Oh Michelle that’s awful. A good friend would understand your daughter’s problems and would be there to help… not make things difficult for you.
No wonder you had a meltdown!!!
Try and relax today and put it out of your mind.
Sending you cyber chocolate bunnies!
Pat xx
Hi Michelle, I know I don’t know you awfully well, but I do understand your situation, my nephew is autistic and ADHD , someone who is meant to be your friend should completely know what to do and what not to do.
I feel terrible for both you and your daughter, I’m sending you, massive hugs for what your going through and a gentle hug for your daughter.
Polly xxx
Oh Michelle that’s so bad, you would think that friends would understand better than strangers would.
Try not to worry (I know that’s easier said than done) but the last thing you need is for your condition to be exacerbated by this inconsiderate person.
Sending massive ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to say we are thinking of you.
Pam x
Michelle there’s not much I can say that hasn’t already been said by the others but I’m here for you too. I hope both you and your daughter have a restful day and put your friend’s comments behind you.
People who aren’t in your shoes will never fully understand what they can and can’t say. I’m sure she’d never willingly have hurt you both the way she did if she is the friend you thought her to be.
Take care and give your daughter a cuddle from me.
Cath xx
Michelle my Grandson suffers and my daughter has to cope with a lot of stuff so I can understand some of how you are feeling. I have to bite my tongue A LOT. Its hard being a parent and MS on top. I wish I could give all of you a hug, your friend included she doesn’t understand. Sunshine today son maybe when the Easter Bunny comes she will be a bit happier.
Lots of love Don
Perhaps your friend thought she was helping you by telling your daughter off. Autism is very hard for most people to understand.
But the main point is that nobody should chastise your child in front of you - whether they are autistic or not. lt would upset all of us - brings out the ‘Lioness’ in us all.
l remember a time when my daughter was ‘mouthing off’ at me - and a builder working here said to her ‘l would not let a daughter of mine speak to me like that - have some respect young lady’. She stormed off - but when she came back she was very repentant.
That’s sad to hear Michelle. Over the course of a year the relationships I had with my autistic/aspergers/ADHD pupils were a sort of complex panoply of mutual respect and awareness of our individual needs and expectations. If a friend knows about your daughter’s condition, I would have expected some more understanding.
I hope you feel more calm about things soon. We just flashed past Froddy (well at about 11.15 this morning) like a speeding bullet on our way back from Wallasey after 4 days with my dad.
Best wishes, Steve x.
Thanks Steve and everyone
Shes so hard at the moment, but it stands out a mile that she isn’t " normal" shes delightful when shes happy but you can definately tell that shes got problems i used to be her main carer before ended up in the wheelchair i feel so frustrated i can no longer fight for her for years iv’e had to be her advocate and explain and still put up with unkind comments and been judged on my parenting skills you have to let it go over your head and develop a thick skin , most people are kind because you really can tell that she’s got a disability this friend was prob having a bad day shes alot older than me aswell,i think what hurt me the most was hearing her crying and when i rang my friend she told me that others were fed up with her aswell… don’t get me wrong… she drives me mad myself but i love her and she’s my life… also with having an older Autistic daughter i feel “Here’s one I made earlier”…you know I still think i’m grieving being in the chair and my loss of control things seem to hurt me more at the moment.
Thanks Michelle X ps nxt time you go through Frodsham give me a WAVE
Yeah im definately a Lioness I know some people mean well but i think others need a day in my shoes!
Thanks Michelle x
Thanks Don
Your a good guy, i really appreciate your kind words.
Michelle x
Thank you Cath,
Your words really mean alot to me, your right and this is a friend that i love so as painful as it is i won’t hold a grudge…just lick my wounds for a few days …honestly i get scared to take her out…the public don’t matter but this really hurt
Michellex
Thanks for the hug Pam…so glad iv’e got this forum
Michelle x
Thanks Mrs J, I’m sure i’ll get over it…just really hurts more since iv’e been in the wheelchair i so much want to be a good mum and have well behavied children that are polite and well mannered …Molly is everything but…athough shes truelly loveable and can’t help being Autistic.
Michelle x
Thanks Pat
I didn’t have the meltdown …just Molly but i really cried the big softee that i am and i rang my friend still don’t think she understands but she did reluctantly say sorry… i think what is hard is that what she said is true and where ever i go Molly is going to stand out and when she kicks off its Major! shes 14 and a big girl but socially emotionally like a 2 year old …I’m used to teenagers being hard iv’e been there and i always insisted on good behavior but its a completely different ball game when they are Autistic.
Thanks for listening Michelle x
Thanks Polly,
I really appreciate your kind words, still wanting to run away …can’t get far in my powerchair i’ll just keep a low profile for a day or two
Michelle x
Oh Michelle, that’s so sad for you…I am so sorry, you have so much to contend with and normally you seem to do so well at keeping chirpy.
People so rarely seem to be able to put themselves in other shoes, I’m sure life would be easier for all of us if more people were more able to do this.
I do hope you’re feeling a little bit better today?
Take care of yourself, sending you hugs.
Happy Easter
love Nina x
Just looking up Frodsham as I had never heard of it before if I ever get there I will wave. Because I doubt I will ever get there I am waving now. Yes honestly I do this to people when I am on the phone I get them to wave back at me so ONE TWO THREE WAVE TO DON.
You can stop waving now, did you get your daughter to wave??
LOTS OF LOVE AND A HAPPY EASTER
Don
Oh Don you are so funny… Iv’e just given you a wave back, im so childish always used to get the children to wave at planes and i must admit to waving at the TV screen occasionally but not when anyone is looking! brilliant see youv’e made me laugh now i can’t stay down in the dumps for long.
Michelle X