Forum

I've just lost my virginity

Hello there and I’m hoping that you feel better than expected and have ordered your Human Sacrifice for the Solstice on friday.

Right why that title,probably the reason we’re together? I’ve been slipping for the past fortnight with more fatigue,gradually increasing pain and a plentitude of other things from ON to more piddling but less of it,swollen feet blah blah.Sunday was an appaling day then at 20:45 I was having the forty twelfth piddle of the day and noticed there were tiny ‘bits’ floating in the PPP…Plastic Piddle Pot.

EUGH…REEKA(it did pen+ink) I’ve got my first ever UTI.Twelve years of this, and nothing springing from the neuron about the dim+distant.“Wot 2 do?” this time on a sunday.I phoned the local Out of Hours,long story short,there was a Doctor here at 23:30.He was a good bloke,knew about MS and agreed it was a UTI,probably caused by the bladder not emptying fully when I turn the tap on.He gave me 14 tabs,2 a day and a specimen pot to fill and get to the Surgery in the daylight.

I feel better already,have drunk 2L of squash today,everything was normal but went back to ‘dribs+drabs’ again.POO…Then I noticed my feet weren’t as swollen, so I was weeing the fluid out.The practice nurse phoned to say"There is protein in the widdle and if the Lab find anything nasty.they’ll be in touch."I’ve got Cranberry capsules coming from Amaznotax.

Now I know what I’ve got to do,will recognise the symptoms and will get to GP ASAP if it re-occurs

I am so impressed with the Out of Hours and it would have taken twice as long in the daylight…RESULT

Be lucky,

Wb x

Lol - oh you poor thing but thank you for making me giggle, as always

Last year a quack put me on codeine and apart from nearly knocking myself out (at every available opportunity!) it gave me a dreadful infection. I am clumsy at the best of times and spaced on codeine I dropped the parking ticket one morning and in the process of picking it up managed to bang my head on 2 car wing-mirrors at the same time! (I’m sure they weren’t there when I bent down.

Anyway, I digress… the codeine gave me such a bad water infection that I ended up taking 3 courses of antibiotics to clear it. I was training 2 guys at work so I just had to tell them straight as I kept having to rush off to the ladies with very little warning, usually mid-sentence

Hope your infection goes quickly

Sonia x

You do have a way with the words WB! Hope that it all clears up for you soon, at least you know the optimum time to notice new symptoms now :0)

I love your little stories Wb. Glad you are feeling better and you have a decent out of hours service. When I saw your heading I thought it was going to be another joke. Btw my son loved the joke about Billy Bob and the gorilla - he didn’t see the punchline coming

Tracey x

I’m glad you’re on the mend Wb. When I saw the title I thought this was going to be another joke.

Btw my son got the giggles at Billy Bob and the gorilla - he didn’t see the punchline coming.

Tracey x

human sacrifice - ha ha! oh WB x Glad you are feeling better and you had good out of hours service after all the horror stories in the press. Keep on keeping on and may your pee be never again pongy! Max xx

How did I know it would be you WB, when I read the title of your post?

I thought we were in for another of your jokes!

Anyroad, I`m glad you got that little perisher sorted so quickly.

Ive had 4 utis this year......caused by retention and yeh, it does chuffin pen and ink, as you say. Not very conducive to giving off feminie scents at all. Even my Beyonce Heat perfume wilted in comparison.!

Ooh, arent i getting personal! Hope the other ladies wont mind!

So as well as me having waterworks accidents, I am also retaining…cmon bladder, make your chuffin mind up!

Im off to tsurgeons scalpel in 2 weeks come Thursday, to get a garden hose fitted…should be good for the geraneums!

luv Pollx