Hi, this sounds like part of the condition to me (and this is my experience, not everyone’s). I have been unwell since 17th December, stupid chest infection has reduced me to a bumbling, angry, grunting less than-Christian person. It pushed me down physically and mentally, even though I didn’t intentionally feel grey, it just pulled me down. I had this once before, which is different to the upset I think most of us get now and then, or sadness. I have found that when unwell from something like flu or infection on top of M.S. it just reduces mood, like there is a black sort of fog around. It seems to intensify all the negative things that we go through. Are you feeling better physically now?
Yesterday at the hospital, I had good advice from my M.S. nurse who is excellent. She knows that if I am moaning or needing an appointment, it is not a light thing. This winter has floored a lot of people she said, they are finding it hard to get back to their normal, physically and mentally. I shall now go back to my GP for the day to day care needed following her appointment.
Here, the GP offers a counselling service. There are also community things going on where you can request a visitor for chat and tea. There are also free counselling sessions in the voluntary sector. The year before last, I paid for five hours of mindfullness counselling from a like-minded person who had actually died several times and come back. I chose him because - he had a nice garden on his website, he was recommended but also he could see me quickly. Personally I don’t like the traditional counselling, I needed something to wake my mind up and stop bad habits but also to re-boot the way I lived, which was needed with M.S. and also get rid of some things from childhood. Coping skills were needed at 55!
Be patient with yourself, if you have been poorly, it will take a while. It is winter. Also see what you can find in the voluntary sector. You don’t have to do anything, but if you look or enquire, it may be there if you chose to take it up. My saving grace at the moment, everything stops in the afternoon for the Sweeney, Professionals and Minder. It makes me giggle, so that will do me for a while.